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female
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*tmywitsend
writes: my bf and i have been together for 8 years and have a one year old child, this year my mum died and as a result we take care of my younger sister. the whole year has been a struggle and we have argued a lot and are just not as happy as we used to be. he has no told me that he doesn't want to go on and wont try. we are selling the house and i'll have to leave my job and go on benefits. he says that he loves me but i dont know if he is just trying to make this easier. i'm desperate not to lose him and feel my life is not in my hands. i have suffered with depression and am worried that things will just get worse. does he love me? and does this even matter now he's leaving? i feel very low. please help any advice
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female
reader, jaynehaigh +, writes (28 November 2006):
I am so sorry you having a bad time of it.
People argue - all this stress this year hasnt helped.
But you need to stick together, you will get through this bad time in your lives but you need to do it together- you need to make him see this.
Try sitting him down and talk about how good things were prior to this bad year. And he may realise that he wants to (and should) stay and work through this.
If he won't stay, you can't make him. He seems to be putting him self first and leaving you with the problems.
If he does leave make him aware you don't want him to and that he can come back anytime - but then I would limit contact with him - it will only hurt. Why are you selling the house? Why will you have to leave your job and go on benefits?
He can not make you sell the house or move out. It is the family home and you have the right to stay. And please do not give up your job - you may find that it is a lifeline that keeps you sane through all of this - you will get tax credits (If in UK) to help with your finances (sorry I don't understand American benefits system).
Also you might benefit from a visit to the doctors of you have suffered from depression before. Seeking help early is always the best option.
Please keep yourself busy - try to not think about things too deeply or for too long - too much time on your hands is a dangerous thing when your feeling low.
Comunication is the key - talk talk talk talk talk!!
Please please let us know hat happens and you can always post me privately if you just want to chat about things - its nice sometimes just to ahve someone impartial to talk to.
Take carexx
A
male
reader, guylostinlove +, writes (28 November 2006):
have you gone to a doctor to see if maybe they can prescribe you some medication for your depression? i believe most/all depression medicines are prescription only ...
it sounds like he doesn't want to work things out with you ... i think it's very hard and pointless if he's said that to you .. to even continue trying. you have your sister and kid to worry about ... you need to be strong for them and continue with your life/work for them at this point.
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