A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband serves in the royal navy, last year he went away for 5 months he left when I was three months pregnant and returned 2 weeks before our wedding. We had a lovely wedding, and I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in November. However I have since learned that whilst my husband was away he went to several lap dancing clubs and even paid for private dances. I don't know whether to trust him now? I'm so confused and I can't stop thinking about the fact another woman has pleasured him. Please help.
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female
reader, cnfsdnluv  +, writes (7 June 2007):
I wouldn't worry. I got really jealous when my boyfriend went to a strip club and got a lap dance. Then, we went to the strip club one night together. It's really just a game there and, even though there are naked ladies rubbing up and down our guys, that's all it is. There's no intimacy or emotion attached to it. Guys, by nature, like sex and sexiness. It's animal instinct - just like women like sappy movies to appease our emtional instincts. I decided to try my hand at a lap dance for my guy. We both had a blast and it brought us together. Now, I don't mind so much if he's out at the strip club - cause I know he's probably just imaging me doing my tease instead!
A
female
reader, myp +, writes (7 June 2007):
 It sounds to me like you guys have a good marriage but seperation made him lonely. Did he sleep with them? If he did thats a complete inexcusable breech of trust and fidelity, if not then perhaps you should be a little lenient. I dont mean to condone his behavior and strip clubs are far from acceptable. Talk to him about it, tell him how you feel. Does he got to strip clubs when he's at home? If so than he has a problem that needs to be addressed. If not then he still has a problem and you two need to discuss the boundaries of your relationship.
Good luck
-Myesha
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (7 June 2007):
 unfortunatly it's a male thing, you have not actually heard that he done anything more i take it, i know it can be hurtful but try not to read to much into it it's just abit of fun, you could see it that the fact you found out is a good thing you might not havr if he actually got up to something, i'm sure most us girls would give it ago for a laugh it is was more available to us.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, Melanne +, writes (7 June 2007):
 I can understand why you don't trust your husband. I think you need to talk with him, but then I suppose you may wonder if you can trust him. I am wondering if you could talk to one of his friends without him finding out. This is a tricky one as if you talk to your husband there is the issue of trust and then if you talk to one of his friends there is the chance he may find out.
When trust goes from the relationship it is very difficult to repair and it can take a long time for the trust to be built up again. You also say you found out that your husband went to these clubs so it's not as though your husband personally told you.
This may leave you with the opportunity to confront him about it. However I do understand this will be difficult. I can understand this will be in your mind constantly therefore I think the only way to go is to confront your husband and ask him to tell you the truth that way you can decide what you need to do about this.
I think it would be good once you've talked to your husband to write another post about how that went and we can see if we can help you further with this. I hope this helps a little.
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