A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Heya i need your help, it all started three weeks ago i met this guy he seemed really interested in me and that kind of threw me back because i had a lot of guys fancying me and he asked me out, and i said yes but the thing is he never calls me or talks to me we go to different schools and he treats me really bad. His best mate started flirting with me and treats me really good but i dont want to ruin their relationship as mates and now his best mate fancys me but the thing is he has a big gob (likes to stir up things)and has gone far with girls but i dont no how to let them both down easy please if you could help me that would help me so much x
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female
reader, joemtzel  +, writes (7 June 2007):
 hi..youre young & beautiful..dont rush things coz its too complicated at your age..my suggestion,to avoid hurting their feelings or ego..just be friendly to both of them but dont try to go out with any of them..try to excuse yourself from invitations if youre not sure of the guy you want to be with..as young ones, you cannot expect right treatment coz as a teener thats where the influence of peers & trends...so you be careful in making a decision..know the guy first before accepting the invitations, ok? godbless dear...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): You are very young, so I would just say that although you like them both you are not interested in having any relationship at the moment. One of the most important lessons in life is to not always put other people's feelings above your own. If you put yourself first sometimes, you wont allow anyone to treat you badly.
It is really important that you give yourself time to think about the qualities that you want from a man, a life partner in the future, to posess. Then stick by them, don't waste time and emotional currency on brash, selfish wimps.
If you are good looking but have low self esteem you will find it hard to say to men. But you must or you may lose your ability to select a good partner later.
If you see a boy regularly he should surely be mind, funny, intelligent, considerate, attractive and respectful. When you are cherished by the right person, a good man, he would probably sooner die than try to get you in the sack and tell his mates.
Do you see a big gap between what I say and your expectations? If so, how come your standards got so low? You are so young, you need to develop some insight and wisdom before you can make good choices. There are so many disadvantages to being young now when everyone expects people to be adults at age 13, 14, 15. You have the hormones and the desires, but not yet the maturity to put that in context. Take it slow, be firm about your principles and own needs and go easy on all this.
All you need is to have confidence in your decision not to see either of these two. You don't need to worry about their feelings, they will move on fine and so will you.
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (7 June 2007):
 It depends on how far you have already gone.
You can let guys down easy in the beginning.
After a while this becomes relationship as guys get feelings.
Now you should start spending a bit less time with them both.
Make it slowly, otherwise it may become not easy for you too.
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