A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently got out of an abusive relationship. As soon as it turned abusive I left for the safety of myself AND our 1yr old son. For about 6 months I have been seeing someone else. The guy is actually one of my best friends. I've known him for years, I guess there has always been something there between us. But we have always had so much goin on in our own lives, we never took that chance in being in a relationship with each other. This isnt the first time we've taken things beyond that friendship level. And this time, it's a bit more serious. We've always been there for each other and have become very close throughout the years. I'm happy with the way things have been going, I haven't rushed into a relationship with him. And i like that I dont feel like I'm jumping into anything. Problem is, he was hospitalized for something pretty serious. I was there for him the whole way of course. After they let him go home, we talked alot! And he asked what my thoughts were as far as he is interested in a relationship with me. I told him maybe the hospital gave him a scare, and I would still be here for him the same way no matter what and once his head is straight we can talk about it. I didn't want the hospital scare to be his main reason to be with me, and he said it wasnt. He told me he had actually put some thought into it, and he thinks it would be good. I now have found out that I'm pregnant. He doesn't know yet. I honestly don't know how or when i should tell him.. and honestly being pregnant isnt exactly something I want to do right now..I know it sounds bad, but I jus never thought I would be a girl to have kids by different dads. I don't regret leaving my son's dad. I've always known he has anger issues, and when I was physically abused, I couldn't stay. And I couldn't bear the thought of my kid being hurt. Even though that happened, me and my son's dad have managed to find a place where we can get along and be ok with each other. We don't hate each other. Now i have to tell him the situation too. I'm so confused and I feel so stuck. I need any advice i can get! Plz.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): Thank you. And yes this friend is the father, and i know he will be just as surprised as I am to get the news. And you are right. I have thought about my options, and i know myself well enough to know i probably couldnt go thru with an abortion... Plus, we have had a little scare before, and he did ask that if I were to be pregnant, for me to keep the baby. But who knows, maybe now, it will be too much for him... Thank you again.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 March 2011):
 Sometimes life takes us down roads that we don't expect. This friend, is he the father of your unborn child? It's good that he wants a relationship with you, even though he doesn't know about the child yet.
You do have the option of terminating the pregnancy, but that's a very difficult choice that I sense isn't an option you're considering. I just wanted to get that out there.
In my opinion, you've found a good guy. He helped you through a very difficult time. He hasn't pushed you into anything despite wanting it himself. That means he puts your feelings ahead of his own. That's a good thing to find in a partner. I bet he'll make a good father if you give him the chance. Don't be surprised if he's scared though. He is probably not expecting this news, is he?
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