A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a bit confused lately. I'm split between the two orientations so for the moment I'm calling myself Bisexual. The point is, I think I am gay, but I don't want to be.I'm not being a homophobe or anything, but I just never envisioned myself being gay. After all, I've been bullied at school and been called gay as an insult since Year 4, and I've always said I'm not. And the way I've grown up, I've always found an escape in, like, acting out scenes from movies I like and making sure I always end up with the girl.Anyway, down to the crux of the matter. I was fine up until the other day, when I was browsing my Facebook and saw a picture of an acquaintance from school (I go an all boys school) with his shirt off, showing his abs and all. And I started getting turned on. I wondered why and then I realised that it might be because I'm gay. I was confused after that, but then the next day, things really went bad.I'd been at my friends all day and my mum was out when I came home. She probably thought I was lonely so she rung up and said "Do you wanna come round X house for a while? A's here." I asked who A was. She said it was X's son. I decided to go round there. When we were in the jacuzzi round there, everything was fine. Then I got out because there were 14 people in there and I couldn't breathe. So I got out, got dressed, sat down and watched their TV.After a while, A got out, got changed, but didn't put a shirt on. I kept pretending to look past him so I could have a look at his torso. Since then I can't get him out of my head, as well as this feeling that I may well be gay, which bothers me because see above. I think I may have a crush on him which is a bit of a problem for 3 reasons.1: I'm really confused about my sexuality2: He's probably straight3: Although he has a much deeper voice than mine and is as tall as me, he's only 12 and I'm 15Someone please help me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGod I grew up too fast
A
female
reader, totalconfusion +, writes (9 June 2012):
i know how you feel a friend gave me some great advice though.
find an adult that u trust maybe school or college or even a mates mum or dad and speak to them about how you feel
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHeey :) I've been thinking a lot lately and my good friend, well, basically my big brother now, but he's been talking to me and I've been thinking and I've decided that I do have some element that likes guys, but I met up with an old friend the other day, she wasnt a girlfriend just a girl friend. Anyway, we talked for ages seeing as we hadnt seen eachother in over a year, then gave eachother a hug and she said i have to drop round sometime, and i knew instantly that i like girls as well. So what I'm 95% sure of is that I'm bisexual, just tilting towards gay.
Thanks soo much to everyone who helped me get through this, I love you all 3
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): As it seems, you are worrying too much. As you said, it's a crush. But the thing is, you don't really know. I'm just going to tell you this: Don't sweat it.
You seem to be conflicting against yourself and the thing is you just have to let it all slide.
In the end, you can't control what you are, so don't worry about it,alrigh? I've told people I'm bi and I've been bullied for it, but like I care,bunch of idiots are ugly anyway as it usually is.Funny how some of the ugliest people thing they're attractive.
Point is, you can't control a single thing that'll happen, and it definitely won't do you good to worry too much. Just let it slide,eventually you'll learn and then you can go on with your problem of accepting yourself if you really are bi/gay.
3 Spunny
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd also, I've always watched straight porn, and that turns me on, and as well as that, I kind of have a tickling fetish, (I'm not sure whether that has anything to do with me being turned on by guys torsos), and there's a website which is a gay tickling website which i go on and that turns me on as well, so that's kinda my reason for thinking I'm bi.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): hey ok im bi and a went thro the same thing not sure if i was bi r gay here is what i did kissed a boy i tot i liked and a girl which 1 did i prefair? i felt exactly the same 4 both its probly coz your bein with more boys the girls in the last while
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey you guys, thanks for getting back so quick. I'm gonna wait for a few more answers before I think too much about this, but it's a great start.
Just to clarify, my mum did tell me how old I was but I must've missed it as I was playing Half Life and the striders were giving me a hard time, so when I met him I thought he was my age, as he seems much more developed than me, then, it was only after he took his shirt off I learned he was only 12, so I think that's why the crush, because I think that he sounds my age so much I fool myself into thinking he's my age.
Thanks again though 3
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): I really wouldn't sweat the labels just now. At 15 you're dealing with a massive rush of hormones, and it's very difficult to think clearly with all that going on. You're growing in to your sexual self, and at the moment that's what it is -- sexual, neither homo nor hetro nor bi just yet.
Give it time. If you choose to explore, in a way you and the other person are comfortable with, either a girl or a guy, that's fine (although not with a 12 year-old -- that's far too young). With time you'll know which way your attractions go.
A great many people have these feelings; not so many are honest enough with themselves to admit it. You've given yourself a good start by being candid with yourself.
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reader, StevenRoss +, writes (15 September 2009):
heyy, you sound just like I did, it took me a long time to realise I was gay and like you I'd never envisioned or wanted to be gay and often wondered why me, when I was younger I wanted a wife and children more than anything, so how could I be gay? Looking back I think this focus was me being in denial. It sounds like u've only recently started noticing other lads and for me this was the most confusing stage as I didn't know what I would be comfortable doing, if indeed I wanted to do anything at all, and I also came as out Bi before admitting to myself and others I was gay. People often say it's a phase, and it might be. People often say their Bi (like me, because it's easier) and you might be. But, it really does sound like you're gay. It's nothing to be ashamed of and you'll probably learn this yourself, even though now it must be very hard to admit it. You're young and at a difficult stage and accepting your sexuality can be a lengthy process, just take everything slowly and remain open minded. I wouldn't jump into bed with the first crush or decide to come out just yet, you need to feel comfortable with yourself, and for now just enjoy the hott lads, maybe check out some gay porn see if it does it for you, get to understand what you like. Sorry my post is really long, hope it helped just wanted to let you know I understand what you're going through, I've been there I'm gay, extremely happy and wouldn't change it for the world. If you'd like someone to talk to let me know and i'll give you my e-mail. xx
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