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Is 4 months too soon? How much does it hurt first time?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 February 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hello! :D

ok ive now been with my boyfriend for 4 months and love him so much!I think i want to have sex with him but im a virgin and hes not.Hes putting no presure on me to have it and we will be safe but im worried. How much does it hurt first time and is there anyway to ease the pain?i have also heard people bleed first time and how much i would bleed?

I would also like your opinion. Do you think 4 months is too soon?i love him and i dont think it is but everyone else does and now i dont know what to think!

sorry about this!and thankyou!

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A female reader, Princess Lilo United Kingdom +, writes (5 February 2009):

Princess Lilo agony auntWell yay for you not having a guy putting pressure on you! They're hard to find. Anyway, I don't think 4 months is to soon, if it feels right then go with it. I have a 3 month rule, but with my current bf I didn't stick to it because it just felt right for it to happen when it did. Stick with what you think and don't listen to other people it's how you feel.

As for pain, my first time didn't actually hurt, not much anyway, it was just a little uncomfortable, but it varies from person to person and as cici said, depending on the size of the man. Bleeding? Well that again depends on the person, I used to do a lot of horse riding so my hymen was broken through that, meaning I didn't bleed. I've known a few friends who've only had a little spot of blood and others who've had a larger amount.

A little bit of advice I'd like to give is don't plan, like don't set a date and time sort of thing. Be prepared, like have protection and lube (if you want to use lube) but just have a nice romantic setting and start things slowly, get intimate and if it happens if happens, if you plan it to the letter then you tend to stress about it which can make it more uncomfortable.

Hope that helps. xx

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A female reader, cici9090 United States +, writes (5 February 2009):

First off, I think that if it feels right to you and your not pressured then it might definitely be the "right" time. Second, when it comes to the pain factor it can vary depending on a few factors. Like: how wide around his penis is, how much you've masturbated, if u hymen is already broken from other activities, etc. For me personally it only kind of hurt the first time, wasn't tooo bad. Just make sure that you are quite wet or lubed down there cause that can help a lot with making the insertion less painful. Also, just maybe start out slowly and not too rough. For maybe like half a day or so after you're likely to have a little painful after feeling but once again it's not much.

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