A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i dont know what to do......im seeing a guy who is five years older than me and i am scared to let my parents know. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, -MISSMCKAY-  +, writes (30 October 2008):
 i don't see any reason why your parents would be upset by this, gosh my partner is 15 years older than me, if that was the sort of age gap then i would see the point, but 5 years? that's nothing! go for it! x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): I tend to agree with qcumbr1. If you are the age of 18-21 years old, I can't see a real problem with you dating a guy 5 years older than yourself. I have to ask...why are you scared? You are a legal adult so why do you feel your parents would react negatively to hearing this news? Are they really over-protective of you? Are you of a cultural group where parents are active in choosing the right person for you (arranged marriages) or are you just plain fearful of their reaction? If you fear them--you shouldn't. You should be able to go to them with concerns, and seek their advisement without reprucussion or being judged. This is what family love consists of. They need to realize that you must be allowed to make your own independent choices now, that you are a young adult. You do have the right as an adult to date anyone, you please. Maybe you need to write back and tell us, what 'scares' you about telling them, this news. Because as I see it... a 5 year age gap is 'nothing' to worry about. So I would say to you, try not to be scared...relax, sit them down, and just tell them, calmly and with clarity. I do think a lot of maturity and reassurances will help but I think you should think about even introducing this fellow to Mom and Dad, eventually and soon. But you need to talk to them firstly. Tell them you want to take some time get to know him more, as friends.. but you want to bring him into the home so they can help you discern whether this guy would be the best person for a relationship with you. Also, it involves Mom and Dad in your life, more. Spending time with each other, in family settings and this will help your parent's accept him and this situation, a bit more. They do probably love you to bits and they will have concerns and questions. So I suggest you please tell them. Honesty builds trust and respect in a family and keeps it solid. Do the right thing...face your fears, tell them and understand...you are an adult and should be expected to be treated as such by all memebers of your family...parents included. Good luck, dear
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A
male
reader, Jack_McVeigh  +, writes (29 October 2008):
 ok sweetheart dont worry! my bf is 3 yrs older than me. (yeah i am gay). but i mean at the end of the day it shouldnt matter if he is 5 years older than you or 50 years older than you!! if you love him and you think he's the one, then you're parents will see that. because parents just want what's best for you and if you think that this guy really is for you.. then what's the problem. i mean the age gap doesn't matter at all. you obviously like him alot even love him.. so it doesn't matter. your parents will like him and accept him if you will. by that i mean that if you think that he's the one who will make you happy.. then your parents will too. promise.
ok i wish you best of luck..
take care..
Jack P McVeigh x
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