A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i need help.ive been with my boyfriend for a while and we both want to have sex. he's had sex with four different girls in the past and yes, he's been tested..so he doesnt have any diseases. i on the other hand am a virgin and he knows that...im scared to have sex with him..not because i dont trust him or anything..cause i do trust him and i love him also..im just scared of the pain..cause i dont know what to expect specifically. ya know? my bestfriend has been with her bf for 2 1/2 years and she says that sex does hurt..which i knew but it still doesnt help me..cause i havent experienced it yet...i dont know what to do and i really dont know how any of you can help me..but i need someone to please be patient with me and try...thanks so much. i really appreciate it. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 May 2010):
 First ,at your age it is way to soon for having sex and in your country is also against the law.
I know this won't stop you anyway I want to submit you my theory : if you are so concerned about physical pain, then you are not ready to have sex. When you are really ready, mentally ,emotionally and phisically, you want it so badly that pain is the last thing in your mind, you just don't think about it. Reason for which, I suspect that you may be yiekding to peer pressure or your bf's pressure, and if it is so- then wait. There is nothing wrong in fulfilling your physical desires- but make sure they are YOUR desires, not somebody's else.
Said that, I'll be honest and will tell you that the pain of defloration is generally far from unbearable , no big deal really. Of course there are exceptions ,but in general is mild. Much though, as you already know, depends from your partner, if he can be delicate, patient ,unselfish and attuned to your body- which is alas rarely the case with boys around your age.
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