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I'm scared of my boyfriend at times but afraid to end things!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 December 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 December 2009)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend complains about everything I do. He goes through my cell phone, follows me to the grocery store, check to see if I am at work, wants sex everyday, hates my best friend(female), goes through my mail, tells me how to dress, and I am scared of him at times. I'm recently divorced (2yrs) afraid of changing partners again. Going through battles with my x-husband who tries to control me thru our 2 kids, pressure from my boyfriend not to have contact with him. He made me change my cell phone number, stop hanging with my only best friend, I'm confused and depressed, can you offer some advice please.

View related questions: at work, best friend, depressed, divorce

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009):

I completely understand your situation. My boyfriend did all of the same things. He tore me from my life and was even physically abusive at times. I finally broke up with him yesterday and its been incredibly difficult because I love him. But I know that it is unhealthy to be with a man who is negatively affecting your life.

The first thing you should do is write a list of reasons why he's a negative influence on your life. Then you need to cut him off cold turkey. He might threaten to ruin your life so be prepared to change passwords, numbers, and keys if necessary. You'll miss him if you love him. Just keep looking over your list of how he hurts you. You can find a man who trusts you.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (24 December 2009):

LazyGuy agony auntYou are afraid to be without a man in your life. And the dark reason for that is because you are afraid to be responsible for yourself.

Right now, you can blame others for your unhappiness. Your ex, your current bf. Anyone, but yourself.

He can only control you, because you allow him. Make a choice, either he controls your life, or you do.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (24 December 2009):

Oh, please end it. You're being treated terribly by this controlling man. If both your ex husband and your boyfriend are controlling, then you need to spend time on yourself and your kids so you can work out why you are falling for this type of man. But please get away from your boyfriend.

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A male reader, romance_boy18 Canada +, writes (24 December 2009):

romance_boy18 agony auntleave him, seriously. hes either too paranoid or he has serious issues based on his past relationships. even a guy has to give the girl space, but this is just way too controlling

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