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I'm scared of giving too much away in case he just sees me as one of the lads!

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Question - (9 May 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I've recently found myself developing feelings for a friend of mine. We have known each other for years and grown closer in the last 12 months or so. Over the past few weeks we have been spending quite a bit of time together and I have started to feel jealous when he gets attention from other women when we are out together.

I'm concerned about ruining the friendship if I make my feelings known in case he doesn't share them. But, I'm wondering if he might feel the same way. The other night when we were out another woman made a move on him but he left and came home with me. Also he sent me a text saying that he had had a dream about me. I just fobbed it off and laughed and I've not heard from him since. This was only yesterday but he texts me all the time so this is quite a long while not to hear from him.

How can I find out how he feels without asking him or telling him how I feel? I'm scared of giving too much away in case he just sees me as one of the lads!

View related questions: jealous, move on, text

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A male reader, riv United States +, writes (16 May 2010):

What's wrong with asking him how he feels / telling him how you feel ?

or asking him to give details about the dream you figured in ? if he mentioned it it is because he wanted you to ask him for those details.

You can do it by text before you next meet.

Men can be shy and fearful of rejection, just the same as women. Just ask him and treat the reply / ies honestly.

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