A
female
age
30-35,
*aucyZoe
writes:Ive been going out with my boyfriend Steve for a year now. The thing is, he has troule erecting. He is always watching porn, and I am anorexic, which he finds extremely sexy.Also last year, Dan his friend raped me. I didn't tell Steve as I know he would never go near me again. Steve has been getting more violent over the past month, I am scared he will try to beat me.Please help me, i'm desperate.Love Zoex
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kahlan +, writes (15 March 2008):
 I know how hard it is to get away from a physically and mentally abusive relationship but believe me sweetheart it can be done.If he hasnt hit you by now he will soon.You will probably need help to do so.If this Steve is anything like my ex he will try every trick in the book to make you stay including threats towards you and your family,violence,guilt trips,threats of suicide and even tears.Ignore it.It wont be easy.If your parents have an idea of whats going on let them help.I tried to hide what was happening from mine and pushed them away.It was with their help i finally got away.Try and not be alone with him.I was aiso anorexic/bulemic and when i got help for it i realized it was my way of having some control of my life when everything around me seemed outwith my control.You also need to talk to someone about the rape.If you feel you cant talk to your mum then find an anonomous site on the web or even phone childline.Theyll be able to give you advice.You should tell the police but if you cant go through it dont feel presurised.Whatever you do you have to get away from Steve ASAP.Ill be thinking about you.Good luck.Just remember ur worth 100 of him.Lots of love.Kahlan.
A
female
reader, Dimithri  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 If you are scared of your boyfriend why are you going out with him? That means there's no more love in you’ll relationship. Find some one who'll love you & respect you for who you are.
Why didn't you tell you’re guy about what his friends did to you? You never know, may be that's the reason for his violent behavior! Talk to him about how you feel about this whole relationship and what his friends did to you. (that is if you still love him)
Stand up for your self...
And sweeties please talks to your mom & dad about your current situation and also talk to either a doctor or a counselor. Get help as soon as possible. Take care & god bless
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Can you not see the damage you are doing to yourself putting yourself in this situation? You are anorexic probably caused by all this drama.
If you are scared of your boyfriend what kind of relationship do you think that is? You are young. You need to know what a real relationship is, not what you have now. That is NOT a relationship!
You need to tell your boyfriend that he is history. Make sure that you have support with you when you do it, just in case he does get violent. Then go straight to the police station and tell them what happened. You need to make sure that his friend doesnt have the opportunity to do that to some other poor girl.
Finally, get yourself some councelling. Tell your parents what has happened. You may find that they are more supportive than you think!
Good luck and let us know how you get on!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): Firstly you need to finish with your boyfriend as he obvioulsy doesn't give a damn what happens to you. Then report his mate to the police for raping you!! By staying with this guy you are putting yourself at risk of getting beaten and/or raped again - by your boyf or his so called mates!
Please tell your parents or some adult that you can trust about this also. You haven't done anything wrong by this guy - the only wrong thing you have done is to stay with him this long!!! You need to report this before it goes any further and gets worse.
Take care of yourself and best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 For crying out loud, where are your parents? You have a violent "boyfriend", you've been raped, you are anorexic, and you aren't even 16 years old yet! You need to find the nearest adult and tell them about this entire mess, honey. You are on the path to destruction and only an adult can help you at this point. Get moving.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Hang on a minute. Your boyfriend's mate raped you and you are scared to tell him because he wont come near you again? He thinks it's sexy because you suffer from anorexia?. And he is also violent and you are scared he will beat you up?
What is wrong with you, why haven't you tried to get some help?. Cant you talk to your parents honey, you should get away from this guy now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): Get out now, you should never ever live in fear of your life. What makes you think he will beat you? Did you tell anyone about the rape? He shouldnt get away with it. Go along to the police. If you are anorexic then you have enough problems of your own without relationship ones. You need to sort yourself out and then get into a relationship, not the other way around. Tell your parents just what you have told us, or go to the police, either way, you should have to live like this.
take care
xx
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