A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:At my job, I have several admirers but its ok since they are for the most part gentlemen and dont harass me or anything. Now, one of my supervisors "Joe" has liked me from day one. We have a crazy-cool rapport but he has told me straight-up that we cant date and hes no good for me anyway. For almost a year, we maintained a proffesional friendship.I accepted that. Fast forward to now. We kissed with full knowledge and intention. He was a gentleman and I felt almost shocked that he hugged me so tenderly to himm. Now,hes telling me that its all or nothing. He wants me established as his gf. I should be happy but I'm so ashamed because I pretty much just ended a relationship with my boss. I never should have. He had me believe that it was right but it wasn't. He just wanted to further control and manipulate me. He still tries to get back with me but no, never again. I'm so scared that he'll retaliate somehow if he knows about Joe. I want to tell Joe so, so badly. I feel like he shouldknow the truth before he takes that step with me. I care for him and I wish I didnt feel like such a whore for being in a relationship with myown boss. I thought he really and truly saw me as a person. Sadly, most everything he knew me about me came from Joe. Please, help me.
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female
reader, chipmunk37  +, writes (6 September 2015):
 Firstly do not call yourself a whore, you put your faith and trust in someone and that trust turned out to be misplaced. We all make mistakes in our love lives and that is how we learn. You have nothing to be ashamed off. You should certainly tell Joe that your boss may be on the war path so that he can be better prepared to defend himself when or if your boss attacks. And what exactly can your boss do to have his revenge on Joe? He can't fire Joe for dating you because Joe could sue him for unjust dismissal. He can't physically attack Joe because he would be arrested on the spot. If you really like Joe and see a future with him don't let fear and embarrassment get in your way.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 The boss will no doubt tell Joe and the rest of the guys at work, before you get a chance to.
Or Joe may already know.
Work affairs are rarely as well hidden as the participants think
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 January 2013):
You are in a truly NO win situation.
Your Boss will already be feeling humiliated so don't rub his nose in it.
He may even find ways to find fault with you before he dismisses you.
Find another job and pronto.
Then think about Joe, if he's still interested.
Try not to form any other attractions at the new place you find to work for.
Business and playing up at work is a recipe for disaster and always has been.
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A
female
reader, nola247653 +, writes (3 January 2013):
It sounds like Joe is a good guy and that he deserves the truth. Set him down and explain calmly that you judged your boss' character wrong and that you haven't had feelings for him in a while. Just speak from your heart to Joe and if you decide to be his girlfriend report it to your superiors, so it doesn't have to be a secret. If you have a HR rep or something explain your fears that your previous relationship (with your boss) might affect your work status, and see what they say/ advise before telling your boss. Hope this helps!
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