A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do you tell someone that the girl they fell in love with doesnt exist. It wasnt meant to turn out this way. I never wanted him to fall for me, but he has. Now we are meant to meet up tuesday and i cant becasue the girl he.l fell for is a fake. Ive tried.so hard to tell him the truth. But i guess i want to know if.their is an easy way i could tell him the truth. I know his going to be so hurt. The closer.it.gets.the more im freaking out. I know i cant.let it.go on any longer. The.truth is i dont.even know how to begin telling him. Help me please
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2013): Maybe you could say you gave fake info because you were a bit worried about giving out your real personal info on the Internet? Say you never intended to trick him but you didn't expect to like him so much and it got harder and harder to tell him. I know it's hard but you are going to have to do it ASAP so he isn't building up his hopes any more.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe text every day. and he said it doesnt even matter what i look like. he just likes me because we have all the same interests. I didnt lie about that. Just my photo and name. We have been talking everyday for five weeks and we know everything about each other. I know i have to tell him. I'm just trying to work out how. Thanks for the advice guys. i will do it now. I really messed up and he is the sweetest guy ever and to be Honest i never thought he would fall for me like he did.He's always telling me i speak way too highly of him. And that he doesn't know what i see in him. I know he will hurt. .:(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe txt every day. and he said it doesnt even matter what i look like. he just likes me becauae we have all the same interesst. I didnt lie about that. Just my photo and name. we have been talking everyday for five weeks and we kkow everything about each other. I know i have yo tell him im just trying to work out how. thanks for the advice guys. i will do it now.
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A
female
reader, Staceily  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 They actually have just started a show like this on MTV called Catfish. It's about couples who met online and one wants to meet in person and the other is trying to avoid it because they have been lying about who they really are. I assume you sent fake pictures and were pretending to be someone you are not. If it were me I would tell him before meeting him, it's a lot less nerve wracking on you. That way if he still wants to meet you can be yourself rather than be terrified by his reaction. Also it's the most decent thing you can do, you have already been lying so you should tell him as soon as possible and not throw a giant surprise on him when you look nothing like expected. It has happened to me where the guy didn't look like he claimed and I was very hurt and felt lied to.
The easiest way? Text or email- however you communicate with each other- and tell him you have something you need to come clean about. Explain the pictures or whatever it is aren't really you, send him a picture of the real you, and apologize. Explain why you did it, how you got caught up in it all, how all the feelings were real, etc. He likely won't want a relationship with you anymore but may want to stay friends. It's understandable how someone could lie about their looks and life to strangers and then get caught up in the lie. Now you just have to come clean about it and make sure you delete the fake persona and never do this again. You can't create a real relationship based on lies or betrayal which I think you have learned now. Yes it's hard but it must be done. I wish you good luck and hope he doesn't take it too badly.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Most options availbale to you will still break his heart.
1. Tell him and he will have all his illusions about you crushed. He thought you were wonderful. But he never knew he was being duped. He may never want to see you ever again.
2. Tell him, sorry I cannot meet you I have met another guy. And thank him for the good times, but let him know you are saying goodbye.
3. At least with 2 you can try to meet him in person as yourself and see if you can interest him. Allow him some time to get over his hurt due to (1) above first though.
4. He might forgive your for (2) but it will always leave a lingering doubt in his mind that you might try to trick him again in the future.
It is mean to do what you did. But possibly reflects your own insecurity about who you are and how you think people perceive you. I can understand why you are freaking out over this. If you try telling him the truth you will feel very vulnerable if he responds with great hurt. Bring some tissues for the tears that may flow. It will be tough.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 January 2013):
 HOW fake?
fake name?
fake age?
fake pictures?
what is fake... it will depend on HOW fake you were...
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 January 2013):
If you were pretending to be a supermodel and you aren't one, then you probably have a pretty big problem and you just need to send him a message and be honest, there's no easy way to do that.
If it was less drastic and you actually could be with him (ie similar age, the right sex, etc) then you'll just have to tell him. Remember that you were the one he was into. Just because the picture was fake and your name isn't the same doesn't mean he didn't like the person he was communicating with.
You need to tell him before meeting him. Tell him the truth, send a picture, apologize and tell him you meant the good things you said. Tell him that you'd understand if he never wanted to talk to you again, but you'd still like to meet him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 It depends how fake it became. Did you post photos of not yourself? Did you lie about weight? If yes, then tell the truth and tell him it's up to him if he still wants to meet you.
Don't believe anyone who says he's in love with a person he never met. Either he is lying, sweet talking, crazy, or just plain naive about what love is.
If your profile is not too different from your true person, then go ahead and meet him. Give yourselves a chance. At the end of the date you can always tell him you changed your mind, but it's nice meeting him.
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