A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just come out of a 6 year incredibly traumatic relationship. the only thing that was fantastic was the sex and our beautiful boy . I have since started seeing a guy and got very close very quickly on all levels . he is incredibly tactile in and out of bed and complements me all the time. I used to have amazing orgasms with my x and cant with this new guy although the sex is very intense and good. I'm scared I have closed down because of the trauma of my last relationship. any advice or opinions would be great.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. I do agree with what you have said. I'm very vunerable at the moment and yes I do feel that I need male attention to hold on to my self esteem which is silly I know . I do really really like this new guy and hope I can learn to trust him .its going to take time and hopefully the sex will fall into place. I'm not intense about sex but when u have had amazing sex you hope you will find it again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): I think Tom probably summed it up very well. However I would like to add that it may be a good idea to stay with this nice man and just tell him that you do feel quite traumatised and would like to take things slowly if thats okay and re-assure him that it is not his fault but hope he understands. If he is as nice as you say and genuine he will understand.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): Closing down would mean not sleeping with someone,especially so soon. Why is the emphasis all on sex? This guy may be okay for now,but the fact you are remembering the ex and fantastic sex isnt fair to this guy. To leave a relationship of 6 years and straight to another at such a rapid speed is not the real thing. Maybe you and ex will never salvage it,if not for whatever went wrong for you,but for this rapid rebound. It strikes me that you have to be with someone,no matter who,as long as its someone. Take a break,thats if you can.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (17 August 2011):
 I thought of the word rebound when I read your post. I take it you have recently broken up with your ex partner? This new man is a great relief possibly because he is very attentive to you and is giving you the love you possibly didn't receive in your relationship. Sadly, this may only last a short while as you are not emotionally ready for a new relationship. The sexual side probably subconsiously holds back. Yes, he is a great new guy, yes he deserves a great girl like you, but you have probably met him at the wrong time. Its not your fauly or his. So, to sum up, he gives you a welcome relief of how a relationship caqn be without the trauma and fighting. However, sadly you need to heal and take some time out. Suffer your loss and regroup. But, this new guy sounds a great guy but sadly at the wrong time emotionally.
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