A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been out of love and dating for about 6 years. I'm still very young but am very selective about who I allow into my life.I think I've found someone potentially amazing only he has a child and I'm not sure if he and his girlfriend have broken up.I do know though that he's done a great many things to show and prove to me that he's interested. I haven't really shown him very much, but the things I do do seems to go unnoticed...The situation is complicated. He owns his own business and I work for him... I sense that he's an honest person but I'm worried about the ethical issues... things are still not exactly the same for men and women and I need to take care of my own image and reputation...The difficulty is that I have real feelings for him but can't show it and he gets frustrated with that. He doesn't really talk directly to me and it feels as though there are so many people involved in this thing between us...I think he's moving on and sometimes I'm scared that I'll lose him but at the same time I also believe that if we are meant for each other we will be together and that if he really cares about me he'll allow me to express my feelings in a way that is comfortable for me but that will prove to him that I too am serious...Love Crisis Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (7 March 2008):
Hi,
You have a real dilemma here. As you are his employee, that is probably the biggest stumbling block. Of course many people develop long satisfying relationships with their bosses, but unfortunately many more do not. And if it did not work out then you have the additional problem of what to do with your job. So at the worst you could lose a boy friend and your job.
Speaking personally as someone who owns his own business, I would never get involved with someone who worked for me for that reason plus the fact that as an employer it gives me an unfair balance of power and could potentially be seen as an abuse of position.
Secondly, if you are not sure of his present relationship with his supposed ex then I would trust your instincts. Often they are right and are based on your subconscious picking up and interpreting all little signals and facts that you observe but are not always aware of. If he has a child with her then she will always be in his life and so you really do need to be 110% sure that his past feelings for her are over and that his heart belongs to you. How long has his relationship with her been over? Is it recent? Do they ever talk about anything other than the child they share? Does he pay child support? (this last will tell you more about the kind of man he is)
While I can sympathise that you feel as you do, I do believe that perhaps you need to reconsider. If you were not working for him it would be so much better, but giving up your job for him would be a very big step to take with no guarantees that it would make a difference to your underlying fear. And as it is his business he cannot give up his job.
I expect that I have not been able to help much. But try to think it through and not let the positives blind you to the negatives.
If you want to talk some more then please message me and I will try to help.
All the best.
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