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female
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anonymous
writes: I need help understanding my relationship I'm having with this guy. I'm 22 he's 32. We've been seeing each another since September but known each another for 3 years. We kiss and make out and are now talking about having sex and we both have agreed that we will. He's not pushing the issue and he's told me that he knows it will happen and that he's willing to work up to that point, he's also told me he don't want to screw things up with me. Now here's where it gets confusing, he doesn't want a bf/gf relationship right now cuz of his work schedule but he's not seeing anyone on the side of me and I'm not seeing anyone but him. He's told me that if I was seeing someone else he wouldn't bother me. He said he's been wanting to ask me out for the last 2 years and never did cuz we used to work together but I don't work there any more. I can't figure out what kind of relationship we have cuz I can't say he's my boyfriend cuz he doesn't want a bf/gf relationship right now but we both wouldn't bother each other if one of us had someone else on the side. What do you guys think? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): Oh dear, clearly just after you for sex and sex alone. Is this what you really want? Do you want to spend precious time of your life playing this game? Set yourself free so you can be with someone in the kind of relationship you want. This is only going to end in tears, hurt, upset and long term damage for future relationships. Probably not what you want to hear and will hurt but do some soul-searching and keep your self-esteem.
Good Luck x
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 Hi
He wants a sexual relationship with you without strings, but wants to make sure you're not having sex with anyone else too.
Completely selfish by the sounds of it, but i guess atleast he's been honest.
Balls in your court if thats all you want.
Sounds dead end to me though.
C xxxxx
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