A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive always been a 'good girl' so to say when it comes to relationships. But now I have got an amazing boyfriend who I love so much. The only problem is that ive never done anything sexual before with a guy, as it has never felt right until now. Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 months now we have gotten very close and are talkin bout having sex, the only promblem is that I dont know what to do and have heard things like its really sore first time and there is alot of blood. My boyfriend is very understanding and says that he will wait untill im ready, i think im ready now but all these things are playin in my mind. We have talked about it a few times. He has had sex before and im scared in case I do it wrong and he compares me to his ex.Please help if you can.P.s Im 18
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help and taking time to answer my question! They have both helped me in different ways =) xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help and taking time to answer my question! They have both helped me in different ways =) xx
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A
female
reader, xXxLisaxXx +, writes (3 August 2009):
Awww well done for waiting til you feel ready that is really mature. I think your bf will understand that it is your first time and won't know what to expect and the fact that he will respect that will mean you have nothing to worry about i.e. it being awkward and not knowing what to do. It does honestly come naturally to you especially as you learn about what each other likes etc... As for the first time being sore and there being a lot of blood, it varies from person to person as everyone's bodies are different ... It can be quite sore but the thing you have to do is let your bf know and ask him to take it slowly. The day after having sex there can be blood but some people can avoid this and some don't find it painful at all. I think if you let your bf know whether it hurts or not and he takes his time with you then this could help to reduce the amount of pain you feel.
As for the ex I think maybe you are worrying to much. You saud you are very close and it seems like there is bond there. To me I don't think he will care whether your as good or not as good as his ex. This is about you and him not her so get that out of your mind and concentrate on you and him - this is an important experience not just for you and him but for you as an individual, any insecurities like that should be forgotten. Hope this helped x
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (3 August 2009):
 Well the good thing is that you have chosen to wait until you feel ready - so no matter what happens your first time will be special and that is very important.
With regards to the pain and blood etc, it is very different for everyone. There is a good chance there will be no blood at all, the hymen is easily broken and there is a chance it could have broken years ago! Using tampons, horse-riding and gymnastics are all things that can break your hymen, so it could already be gone and you never even noticed! If it is still there then it will hurt so be prepared for that, but the pain wears off after about 2-5 mins. And afterwards it might hurt for a few days but that is to be expected. it is not unbearable pain or anything like that, it just feels a little uncomfortable and is sore rather than painful.
You just need to get your boyfriend to take it slow, and make sure that you are very turned on before hand (the more lubrication the easier it will be for him to enter you). If it hurts too much then stop, and try again another day. It is all in the mind really - if you are scared then you will tense up down there and that will make things worse! Try practicing tensing and releasing your muscles down there (pelvic floor exercises). This should help you identify when you are relaxed, and when you are tense. That way when you do come to have sex, you will hopefully be able to relax yourself!
With regards to his ex, that is nothing for you to worry about! You cannot "do it wrong" when it comes to sex, you basically just have to open your legs and hey presto! It is very simple and if he is on top (which is probably the best position for your first time) then he is doing the majority of the work. You cant do it wrong I promise so dont worry about him comparing you to someone else! Just relax and enjoy it, then he will enjoy it too!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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