A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok i'll try to be brief here.theres this guy i fancy who's 18 years old but i'm only 16. first off if we ever did end up going out would it be wrong?anyway he's going back to college on wednesday, which means that if i exclude the newyear and sunday i've only got monday and tuesday to spend with him. i see him on tuesday anyway as i work with him in the evenings. (we both help teach kids) but obviously it has to be strictly a work relationship, our boss would go mental if it was anything else.but i want anyone's opinion, particularly men's opinion, on what i should do. i want to tell him how i feel, or show him or something, but i don't know how i can without potentially ruining a very good friendship. not to mention potentially making work very difficult for us.i've often contemplated giving him a kiss on the cheek or something like that as i'm leaving but i'm painfully shy and i keep getting a hug instead. does anyone have any tips to basically beat this? i don't want to explain, i know i'll end up babbling, but i think a peck on the cheek might say all i need to.i don't know, i'm really new to the dating game, so i'm pretty hopeless hehe. so any help will make my daythanks in advanceanon xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou all for your advice it has been very helpful.
one thing i forgot to mention is that although he's going to a different college at the moment, he plans on going to a different college at the start of the new school year, the same college i'm planning on going to so although we're taking different subjects we're bound to run into each other (especially as we're quite geeky and like 40k and really cheesy 80's movies haha) so should anything come of this the relationship wouldn't be long distance for too long.
i know that he's going to A college in a city ( i know the city but i shall not say it to remain completely anon, as i think he's an uncle on here :S) but i've looked and there are many colleges in this specific city, and it's never come up in conversation. so although the letter idea is a fantastic one, i would be very uncomfortable posting the letter to his house where all his family and our boss lives (our boss is going out with the guy i fancy, *jack*'s, sister) and they are a no secrets family. i wouldn't mind his family knowing, as long as Jack knew first.
we have already exchanged numbers. and we talk every now and then. all in all we have a very good friendship.
i think i'll stick to stealing a kiss on the cheek, i'll just have to pluck up the courage before hand. if i can find the courage to try and attack my boss (we teach the kids self defence sometimes, i often end up worse for wear because of it) i must have the courage to steal a quick kiss haha.
thankyou again for all your help
i shall post an update of what happens
anon xx
A
female
reader, HondaTohru  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 Oh, I like the letter idea! But instead of mailing it to him, maybe you could give it to him while leaving and tell him to read it when he's gone? That gives you a couple of days to figure out what you're going to write.
Good luck! :)
PS: the age gap really depends on each person. Some 18 year old guys would find a 16 year old girl a bit immature, while others wouldn't mind at all...
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female
reader, Secretlife  +, writes (1 January 2011):
If you really like him and he really likes you I think you should go for it.Try it out
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): Okay so i get were youre going at. A kiss on the cheek might not do the trick. I'm very shy at telling people how i feel too. In your case it might not ruin your friendship! if it does not go any further then friends it will strenghten your friendship! Just give it a shot! you have to live life to your fullest! just be confident and plan it out! deffiently plan out what you are goin to say first! or else you will babble on not having a staright thought! :) hope this helped!
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reader, ToxicPurpleNinja  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 Anon, I'm really feeling for you. I'm also 16. I think it'd be great if you guys started going out, but it just depends on how you feel about long distance relationships. If your fine with this, ask him out or tell him how you feel. I hate it when I want to do something, but don't. I always end up regretting not knowing what would've happened. Just get it out and tell him, you'll feel great about getting your secret out to him. Trust me ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): Everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together. ~
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): Ok here is a guy response,
No it doesn't matter at all that your 16 weather he's 16, 18, 26 or whatever. If you like each other and respect each other then you're good.
Next issue, if you think its a good idea to steal a kiss during a hug then only yo are there at the time to make that decision, but to avoid babbling why not send him a letter? That way you can plan what you want to say and get it across properly, plus guys like receiving that kind of stuff too! this also has the added benefit of removing the pressure that your feeling to say NOW how you feel.
Even if you don't know his address if you know what he's studying and where then you can find an address at which mail will reach him (the internet is your friend!) just be sure to mark it Private & Confidential otherwise it could be very embarrassing lol! And don't forget to include your address/number etc... you never know when you might get a text or a call!
I just hope he realises how lucky he is that someone cares so much to be asking the world for advice on just how to approach him. I can tell you think of him a lot from what you have written here!
Good luck, not that you'll need it :)
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