A
female
age
41-50,
*ngel delight
writes:I'm rubbish at is dating game and need some advice please.....On Tuesday night I met a guy at a works leaving do. (Our company is huge and he works in a different office and have never seen him before)We were talking all night until the bar we were in closed. He then asked if I wanted to go with him to another bar, so we did. He was very open with me about his life and told me that he had had issues in the past with girlfriends who didn't realise how much his job meant to him and that when he was at work he could not talk all the time. He rang me so I had his number and then sent me messages until we both got home (I didn't stay with him...even though he asked)He told me in the messages that it was lovely to meet me and he was looking forward to seeing me again. We arranged to meet up the Thu, two days later. He put two xx on every message and was really sweet.The following morning I text. It wasn't a question but just telling him to have a good day......No replyAbout 8 hrs later I text again asking if he was ok....No reply.The following day a good friend of mine and his called him and during the conversation asked him if he was going to see me again. He ummed and ahhed then said he wasn't sure. There was another guy at the drinks who doesn't like me and works with him so I thought he had bad mouthed me and put him off me.Later that evening (should have been our date) I text asking him to be honest with me about meeting again and that if he didn't it would be a shame but I would rather know. 30 mins later he replied saying that he was sorry, had been busy at work, had a lovely time with me and would like to meet up again xx.I replied saying no worries and asked when he was free and he replied saying he was really busy at work but was sure we could sort something out the following week.Its 36 hrs later now and not heard anything more. Im not going to text him but i'm totally confused at his behaviour? I gave him the chance to get out of ever seeing me again and he told me he wants to. Is he testing me? What should I do now? He seems like a lovely, genuine guy but a bit obsessed with his job. I know he's not seeing anyone else.
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female
reader, Flower89  +, writes (25 January 2015):
 Sorry but he told you straight away not to bother him while he is at work! Texting him all the time and asking friends to quiz him is going to scare him off!
Just leave him be for now, you have just met but acting as though you are already with him, which your not.
Wait and see if he contacts you if he doesn't then he just isn't in to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2015): Sorry he's just not that in to you. Men who want a particular woman will not leave you guessing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2015): He does sound very obsessed with work he even told you his ex gfriends didn't understand him about how much work ment to him. Because your not a couple and just arranged a date he doesn't feel he owes anything to you , It does seem he puts work before relationships id tell him bluntly but in a nice way that you understand his job means a lot to him but he needs time out every now and then , he could miss out on a lot of things people take for granted partner , kids. When he's old then what does he have ! His pension and loneliness, personally I would give him 1 more chance and if he cancels or doesn't turn up then just ignore him next time you see him at work or out and about, he prob wants someone in his life who's willing to come 2nd to his job , that's not always a bad thing you get your couples time and plenty of time to see your family and friends but it if you want that then go for it ,would he have given you his number if he didn't like you ! He saw something in you and was willing to swap numbers
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A
female
reader, CattyCat +, writes (24 January 2015):
 Cut your losses, he's not worth it. He was clearly interested to begin with and thought you would go home with him, thank god you didn't because it sounds like he was only after one thing :/
Now that he is having to put effort in, he can't be arsed.
Leave him and find someone else.
If the guy is genuine, he won't want to f*ck on the first date or at least be a gentleman if you say no. BUT he will still show interest and pester you for dates, not being evasive and hurting your feelings.
This guy is leading you on in the hopes of one day getting something from you, that's why he didn't take your opportunity of leaving it.
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