A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex split up with me nearly 2 months ago. I have been doing the thing that everyone keeps telling me to in the last few weeks, giving him his space, not talking about the break up etc etc. But deep down im really really hurt. In the first few weeks he acted like he wanted to work on our relationship and told me he still loved me but since then hes been cold, saying he doesnt know his feelings. I have been with this guy for 2 years and lived with him for a year of that, and i built my life round my relationship with him and his son from a previous relationship. I wish i could just not care about this relationship and let it go, but im finding the whole situation really hard and suffering badly with depression. I havent left the house in over 5 days and spend a lot of time feeling really unhappy. I have stopped talking about it as i feel like people see me as pathetic for still being so hung up over it. What can I do.
View related questions:
split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 October 2009):
It took be 6 months to get over my first dumping. It took my friend a year to get over her first dumping. And I have another friend who took 2 weeks. The point of this is that everyone is different. All those people tell you to ignore and all that, which is true. But they don't tell you that it WILL TAKE TIME. The thing is, you need to make sure you're busy. If you have hobbies, do them, go out with friends and have fun. When you're ready, you'll find the guy for you. Just give it time.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (1 October 2009):
 Ok,Now everyone is different, but allow yourself some time to grieve. If that means cutting yourself off for a time then its ok. But please don't feel like your friends are seeing you as pathetic. In most cases they arent, and if they are true friends they will be more than happy to make sure you are included in social events.Now as to the short term with your BF. Yes I am sure after a couple of years and becoming close to his child that it is difficult.But he has drawn a line in the sand with his "confusion about his feelings". That is guy speak for trying to string you along and guilt tripping you into sex sometime in the near future.If you really want to get over this, I suggest making him insignificant. That means deleting his phone number, email address, and deleting and blocking him form all of your social site accounts. Otherwise he will hang around like Rasputin and give you a sense of false hope that you two are going to get back together.I know that may seem insensitive, but young lady, the person you need to think about is YOURSELF. Don't second guess him or his motives.It really does get better with time, and if you make him insignificant and move on, Mister Right may appear around the corner sooner than you know.Things have a real funny way of turning out that you find the one you should be with at the one time when you aren't looking.All the best.GR
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): Going through the same thing here (except I am younger)
sucks =[
...............................
|
