A
female
age
30-35,
*asanovaxeja
writes:so, let start off with im a 16 year old girl. problem is, how do i know if im straight, bi or les? like i know what it means to be each one, but im so confused and it freaks me out because there is so much pressure around me to be straight or to just choose. at first, i thought i was straight, cuz, you know, thats what a girl is "suppose" to be, but then one thing led to the next, and i thought i was bi. so that was good for awhile, then i realized i am attracted to girls alot more than guys....but still im physically attracted to guys. i suppose youre thinking right now, ok your bi, but i cant help but think im a lesbian! how can i know for sure...and sorry if you thought reading this was a waste of your time or this is a stupid questionxoxo thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): Hi there. First of all, I want to say you should be proud of yourself for admitting this, and being willing to take on such issues at a young age. This is something many, if not all girls go through, and not everyone is strong enough to admit it. This can lead to a serious life of discontentment. It's been my experience (and I've heard from other honest ladies I've spoken with), that all women at some point find other women attractive. It could be a simple girl crush. In that case, you look up to another woman, want to be like them, etc. It's not at all sexual. Some women go further, and experiment with other women to see if they find it enjoyable, and many decide it just wasn't for them, and that's how they know the girl crush wasn't sexual. You have plenty of time to experiment and date in order to find out what you want in life. Don't let society dictate that for you, just have fun and figure it out. Be safe, use protection, don't get pregnant, and let yourself decide. You don't have to label yourself as lesbian, bi, straight, or anything else right now. What's important is that you take the time to figure out what makes you happy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): ok babe, i know that this must be quite hard for you but i have to say please try not to worry. i know thats easier said that done ....ok so the first thing you should know is that loads people go through periods of their life where they may be confused about their sexual orientation. i, myself went through a phase of thinking i was a lesbian but them feelings just kinda faded away. i did some research on it because i was so confused with how i was feeling. i hope you knowthatits not unusual or uncommon to have thoughts, fantasies, or dreams about the same sex. Also its not uncommon to engage in sexual behavior with the same sex.it doesnt mean your definatly gay/lesbian. at our age its all part of growing up and learning about ourselves. Its a part of experimenting with what you want and what you like. You do not need to label yourself as being gay or straight right now. At some point, you will likely feel comfortable with putting yourself in one category or another. Right now, you are in an exploration process. Think about your sexual experiences or thoughts. have you eveer experimented sexually with females? think about how you felt about it and whether you enjoyed it. think about who you have had crushes on in the past. you do not have to decide your sexual orientation right now. just do whatever feels right. i hope iv helped in some sort of way. please dont worry too much about it... gd luck.xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): hi
first of all your ques is not stupid Infact at 16 it's actually a perfectly reasonable ques to ask. There are many many teens like yourself who are growing and questioning their Sexual Oriantation.
Now as far as I can gather the reasons for your confusion is that you think you ought to know for sure if you are Hetero sexual or a Lesbian.
In my experiance its unlikely you will know for some time yet. Many teenagers go through a stage of experimentation .. and most arent sure fora nimber of years which gender they prefer.
I guess the deciding factor will kick in when they start prefering almost exclusively one gender over the other. And this may not happen until mid 20's This is a time when most single people think about settling down and perhaps starting a family.
And even then if you come to decide that you prefer guys more than gals. As someone who as already experianced and enjoyed a Bi sexual lifestlye it could happen that some time in the future you may find yourself attracted once again to another female.
And theres nothing wrong with this if it feels "Natural TO YOU"
I say stop worrying & enjoy your life! Everything will fall into placein its own good time & just remember if your going to practice any type of sex - make it safe sex. GL
M
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A
male
reader, FroggieGman +, writes (8 April 2009):
Not a stupid question, you are having nprmal growing "pains."
I have always believed that women have been blessed with the capacity to establish a closeness to another woman that us guys can never understand.
Don't be in any hurry top establish a particular sexual identity. If you feel a closeness to another girl and she is willing to make out and you both enjoy it then so what. It does not mean you are a hardcore lesbian. Take your time, enjoy whatever closeness you might have with either a guy or a girl. Be glad that you can enjoy both.
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (8 April 2009):
 I think you are bi because you still have the attraction to guys. However if you think you are a lesbian try shutting guys totally out of the picture. If you still have a attraction not just emotional to guys then you are bi. Try that out for a little bit and see how shutting men out (ie not dating them....etc.) works for you.
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