A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid, I work for a hardware store. while I was with my ex and a girl my age was hired. at first we where just friends. I found out she has a boyfriend. I treated her like a friend, basic bullshiting. we became close friends. her boyfriend also works there and he is a great guy and a real good friend of mine. we go out every now and then for a beer at the bar or something like that. im a real good friend to both of them. after I broke up with my ex his girlfriend and I where headed home one day and she admitted to me how she doesn't see her relationship goin anywhere. I was kinda awe struck by this cuz it pretty much came out of nowhere. I told her that what's right will feel right. after that night things somehow changed we started flirting and jokeing around. last night she told me that her boyfriend is too sensitivite and how she's pretty much unhappy. I have been known to be an asshole, I only say that to explain the conversation we had. we where talking and I told her how she was like a rock, she's cold hard heartless and has no feelings, to wich she replied I was a total asshole who will die alone and never get a girl without paying for them. then we just laughed. that's where she said her current boyfriend is too sensitivite and how she can't deal with that. after that I don't know how, I might have read too much into it, but I kinda felt guilty because of her boyfriend. so my question is is this wrong? if she has feelings for me how do I hang out with my buddy? we have nothing but good times just hanging out and insulting each other. we can get pretty abusive to each other yet I have the best time around her and she tells me she has the best time hanging out with me. im kinda at a loss here and don't understand where to go or what to do from here. all I know is Im happy just being around her. what do I do? im pretty much in uncharted waters and have no paddle.
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broke up, flirt, has a boyfriend, my ex, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): Its all in your head. She loves your friendship not you.
If you try it on then you might jsut end up loosing something really good. It is also important to have friendships as well as partners, remember not every relationship should be sexual.
If you do get together, it will be very different and you wont have a much fun as she will be more serous with you, is that really what you want?
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (2 November 2009):
 Don't s**t on your own doorstep though.
If you like her as a friend then keep it just as that and nothing more, especially as you are so close to her boyfriend.
If he is too sensitive for her and she is not getting out of the relationship what she wants then she needs to be honest with him.
If in time, they split up and she told you that she had genuine feelings for you and her ex was OK with it, then you have nothing to lose.
However, if he is as sensitive as she says, if you go anywhere near her you could end up losing more than just her friendship, he could come down on you very heavily. Do you want that headache?
Do you talk to him about how he feels that things are going at all?
Perhaps he has a totally different perspective on their relationship, at least get the gen from him before you do anything you may regret.
You are caught between a rock and a hard place (so to speak), you are the piggy in the middle.
Spending time with her is one thing but if it starts affecting your feelings for her then you need to readdress your affections for her.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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