A
female
age
41-50,
*egret07
writes:I've been with my husband for 9 years. We have had a rought couple years where he was very withdrawn and neglecting.I started having an affair w/ a co-worker for about 7 months and he left to work out of state. The last night we were intimate , I got pregnant. I told my husband the truth and he wants to work on our marriage and keep teh baby. My ex-lover wants me to terminate. I'm so confused on what to do because the idea of having the ex lover in my life kills me because I hate him for not being half the man my husband is being and stepping up to this life that is growning inside me. I'm already showing and it's hard. Me and my husband have 4 children. I don't know what the "right " thing to do is . Can anyone help me?
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female
reader, Tayna +, writes (3 September 2014):
I have the same situation we were seperated a few months got back together a week later I found out I was a month pregnant I had no idea and he wanted to just accept it an move on me he doesn't believe in abortion. I'm now 3 months and still can't believe this happening ????. But also we have a 2 yr old son who I was already 2 months pregnant with when we met for an ex of 2 years is complicated... But he adopted him and it worked out perfectly he is a Great father to my son. I'm very dissapointed in myself I got pregnant again tho-.- but thankfully I have. Forgiving husband..
A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (6 August 2007):
 You are the only person who can let yourself feel at piece. Tell it to the guy you had an affair with what's what. From the sound of it you want to keep the baby, so tell him you're not having the termination (if that is the case) and tell him to stick it.
Yes you were an idiot but don't we all make mistakes? Isn't that what makes us human?
Your husband's attitude should show you that yes you did fuck up but he's willing to forgive you and help sort out the mess.
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A
female
reader, regret07 +, writes (5 August 2007):
regret07 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks sumyungguy. No, I'm not looking to stick him w/ child support. I'm just wanting him to understand this is a life. No one planned it but it's here staring at us in the eyes, now let's try to make it work. I'm not trying to take anything away from him. You are right my husband is pretty special and I was a huge idiot.
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A
male
reader, SumYungGuy +, writes (5 August 2007):
 Yummy got it right. Your husband IS a very special man to want to raise a child he knows is not his. A special man indeed.Stop worrying about your 'lover' and worry about your marriage. If your husband is ready to move forward and keep his marriage alive, so should you be. But you've always got one card in your pocket. CHILD SUPPORT! Your lover may THINK his life is ruined, but just wait until his wages are garnished! Men (I know, I'm a man too) need to realize their roles in making these babies and leaving with the woman to raise. He doesn't have to be a 'father' - but he sure can pay like he's one! Hahahaha. That is, if you want to even bother.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, regret07 +, writes (4 August 2007):
regret07 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate your quick response. It's so hard and I'm trying to see everyone's side but I am angry at the person I had an affair with because he feels it's his life that is destroyed and that it's unfair to him if I have the baby. When I alone had to tell my husband this terrible secret and I alone am carrying this baby. I needed an objective opinion to somehow feel at peace.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (4 August 2007):
The "right" thing to do is what you want to do. Your husband is a very special man there and I think you already know that.
He's shown his support if you want to keep the child. The other guy wants rids because it means responsibility. This is going to sound horrible but technically he doesn't have to have the responsibility if your husband wants to bring the child up, as long as you dont chase him for cash.
The only problem with that is is 16 years time and child wants to know their daddy.
I have a little sister who believes my stepdad is her father and he isn't. I don't know what my mum and stepdad will tell her. The real dad knows but hasn't shown one bit of interest in 6 years.
Its a tough situation, but I wouldn't just kill this baby because the "natural" daddy doesn't want to know. It takes more blood to be a daddy.
Also if you are beginning to show I wouldn't leave it much longer if you are going to have an abortion.
Good luck hunni!
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