A
female
age
36-40,
*uicee187
writes:im in love with this guy i been with for about a year, a few months into our relationship, i found out his ex was pregnant from by him.He didnt bothered to tell me he said he was scared he lose me. once the ex call me and told me , i was very upset and he then later admitted to it. he also said he wants this baby bad because hes in his mid 30s and has no children. i then later forgave him and continue the relationship with him. he says he loves me and he just wants to be there for his son. he then did the ultimate he moved in with this girl cause he lost his job and had no place to stay he says. i have my own place and car. this ex lives with her mother. when i found out i was furious so i then left the relationship. a few weeks later i then found out i was pregnant the same day she gave birth smh( i know). i told him and he came with me to the doctor he says he wants me to have the baby and that hes coming to live with me cause he loves me, he didnt want to leave her during her pregnancy. i still love him and but im scared the trust is not there anymore and i hope he not trying to go back and forth with me and this girl. i have decided to keep the baby i can take care the baby finacially but im really scared and i still feel a little jealous that he has his first baby with another woman even though im having my own. what should i do
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (23 January 2011):
 Let's do the math...you have been involved with him for a year, in that time he got someone else pregnant and she's had the baby 9 months of that year went by while you were with him.He moved in with her and her parents and let them support him. He looks on the child as his posession mostly because he is in his 30's and doesn't have any kids...(so what?) This took place while you were under the mistaken belief that he was in love with you and committed to you.He is in his 30's and he's a complete loser. He will go back and forth between you and her as long as you allow him to.It's your decision whether or not to keep the child, but it will bind you to this stupid excuse for a man forever.He's already PROVEN he's not up for the job of a boyfriend, much less a husband and father to you and your child.Take this other child out of the equation. He isn't a good person, he's a user and he doesn't value you or her or he wouldn't be having unprotected sex with two women who aren't on birth control. He has no concern for his own life, the other girl, her parents, you, your child, it's all about him and getting his nut off. How brilliant! He gets up every day and does the same thing, take a dump, eat some food go to his job, come home drink some beer, have some sex with whatever woman happens to be as handy as a shirt pocket and then he does it all over again with no plans for his life....LOSER.Do you get it?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): angelDlite gave some excellent advice, the most important relationship you can build is with her. She will be the mother of your child's brother if you can be on good terms with her then he won't be able to play you or her because I would bet my house that he says all the exact same things to her about love and being there for the baby etc.
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A
male
reader, wood +, writes (23 January 2011):
you are a big girl now ! abort and run. You should have a better chance at life.A real life prince charming will come along
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): I have totally been there! My now husband got his ex pregnant a minh after we started dating and me pregnant only four months after we started dating. When he first told me she was pregnant I didn't care cause I didn't assume it was his. He never said " she's prego with my baby" just she's prego. Later in the pregnancy he bounced back and forth between us. I was so stupid for letting it happen. It was my first baby and I was scared. I didn't even know what to expect from motherhood not less doing it singel. We went through some hard times and its still hard when he talks to his ex. Not cause she's his ex just because the way things happend. And there's times it hard to be around his daughter cause he blamed all his actions on her. "I need to spend the night there cause of the baby" or " the reason we went over our min on our phone bill is cause. I have to talk to her 8 hours a day about the baby".My husband is a different man today and when I think about what happened I can't believe it was him who hurt me so badly. But I can honestly say I wouldnt do it over again except the getting my baby part. I sure did get a beautiful lil princess from it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): Be honest with yourself. Would you want to be in a relationship with him if you weren't pregnant? Were you actually trying to have a baby with him or was this an accident?
I think he sounds like a loser who will be mooching off of you, the previous gf and any other woman who allows him to.
The trust was gone as soon as he lied to you about his x being pregnant and it doesn't seem likely to come back any time soon.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): I think the best way to resolve this to ask him directly about the situation. Something like: "I love you and I'm pregnant, I don't feel secure about the way things are going..." He sounds as if he's a responsible person, so he should be able to come up with an answer. Since you've decided to keep the baby, then you just need to know if he'll be committed too, right? You need to discuss it with him in a serious conversation, you'll get the answers and then you can decide.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 hi
i don't think he sounds like a bad man, i think he sounds weak though. the fact that he has a baby already is just one of those things, probably not planned, if you want to be with him you will just have to learn to live happily with the fact, you have no choice. you have known about his baby since the first few months of his relationship and you chose back then to continue seeing him.
why do you feel differently now? is it since the birth of the baby? or because of your own pregnancy? if he wants to be there with you and your child and you want him with you, let him. with any relationship you will not get a guarantee. just give things a try with him. make it clear to him that he decides NOW who he wants to be with as you will not tolerate him going back and forth between you 2 women.
are you on good terms with the other girl? it would be better if you were; if he knows you 2 are friends he will not try to bullshit both of you and have you both alternately if he thinks you may tell each other stuff
xx
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