A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need major help. I was with my ex for two years before he broke up with me, and we have a nine month old son together. We had been going through a major custody battle, but we were able to come to a written agreement and work on this outside of court. Before that happend he was being a real jerk and saying some mean things. I still thought of him from time to time and wondered what if I had done something different... I mean, I was bound to right? He was my first everything. But it didnt bother me too much. I was looking for other guys and one of them tried kissing me, but I just couldn't kiss him back. Anyway, onto what I need advice for. After the agreement had been made, he pulled me to him and I confessed I still love him. He said he won't say the words, but him too. Then he kissed me and we ended up having sex. He said he missed me and I said I missed him too. But he doesnt think we can get back together because it's too broken. But he acts like he wants to. I was stupid and saw him the next day and again kissed and had sex with him. I missed all that stuff with him. Now I can't stop thinking about him and I want him back. How do I get over him? I'm tired of crying over him. I know it's over and it can never be again, but i can't stop wishing he will ask for me back. Please don't say to quit talking to him or seeing him, as for me, that's impossible, as we have a kid together, so i need to see him for that. I don't even know how im going to be able to deal with it when he finds another girl. Please give me some good advice I really need it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI need more advice.
A
male
reader, CJH  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 Good advice? Thats a difficult one, none of us can ever be confident, without knowing the people concerned that we are giving good advice.You know this thing cant work and your ex says the same so, as tough as it is, thats what you have to keep at the forefront of your mind. Hopping into bed and revisiting all the emotional stuff is great but you both know that the realtionship, if it started again, would fail for the exact same reasons it failed before.I think what you need to do in this situation is focus on your child and whats best for him. He does need both of you and he will never benefit from you two forcing yourselves to be together in a dead relationship.The fact that every time you look at your boy, you are reminded of the ex will always be difficult but its something you will learn to live with. You will also have to learn to live with the fact that both of you need to move on and find happiness with the right person.Its a bit of a cliche I know, but the vital ingredient here is time. The more time that passes, the easier it will become and the duller the pain will be.Youre not doing yourself any favours with this sex thing though. You need to find some inner strenth and resist the physical contact completely.I`m not saying its going to be easy but I know it can be done! Ive done it myself plenty of times in the past.The relationship is over, you need to get that crystal clear in your mind.
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