A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Right now, I am 7 months pregnant by my boyfriend and we've been together for 2 yrs. My problem is that we made an argreement that we would both stop talking to other men and women. I've held my end of the deal, but I see that he is having a hard time holding is end of the deal. I mean he keeps telling me he'll stop, but everytime I turn around he's doing it again. When I confront him about it he lies and says he wasn't doing it, but I clearly saw that he was. He'll try and make it seem like I'm seeing things or something, or that I don't trust him, or I just want to argue, when that's not the case at all. I don't know what to do. I dont want to loose our baby over stressing from his lies, but I don't want to keep getting hurt and lied to either. I just want him to stop or, at least be honest with me. Please help me. Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, Rose22 +, writes (12 February 2011):
i think the answers of this question depend on the nature of how he "talks" to these women. if he talks to them naturally and causally then what on earth do you have to worry about? its an amiable agreeable character for a man to talk to other women in a friendly nice way, you should commend him for being nice not make him promise never to talk to another women. i think he probably feels you are being unreasonable, for he should be aloud to talk to women and you should be able to talk to men. dont stress and loose your baby over this he is being friendly. he wants the baby so he is commited to you dont fret it will only bring you porr health.
now if he flirs with other women then you need to inforce this no flirting rule! but otherwise relax and be calm!!!
all the best.
redrose
xxx
A
female
reader, amaranta01 +, writes (12 February 2011):
I really appreciate all of your answers but we made the promise because he didn't feel comfortable with me talking to other guys and don't get me wrong these other women are not just women there his exes and even women that he messed with sexually and claimed that he loved and cared for very much and they keep coming on strong to him and he does nothing to tell them to back off he basically lets them do what they want even call at 3 or 4 In the morning like it's no big deal it really worries me he wants me to trust him but he wont stand up for our relationship
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 February 2011):
What do you mean exactly by " talking to other women " ?
If you mean you don't want him to act civil and amiable with his female coworkers, or old female friends, I am not surprised he sees it as an unreasonable ,controlling request.
If you mean instead trolling chat rooms to meet other girls, or visiting dating sites, or going out on his own to hook up with new girls - that's all another story and you are right to be worried. Even if nothing physical ever comes out of it, it's disrespectful per se and not becoming to a soon to be dad, In this case there is nothing that you can do in practice to force him stopping, if he does not want to - perhaps you need to have a serious talk and seriously reassess what your relationship really means to him and what he will , or won't do, to keep it going.
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A
female
reader, irinav +, writes (12 February 2011):
Men are like four year olds, they will run away from their mothers but they will still look back to see if they are running after them. I know this will be extremely hard since you feel you are in a "dissadvantage" being pregnant. But please try to ignore him, ignore him talking to other women. Men like to be ran after and having your attention in the end. Try to act better than him, and better than what he expects you too, even though you are really anoyed with his lies, I would be too. Distract yourself with more important things than his lies, such as your baby, getting ready for the birth etc etc. Im sure that when the baby is born he will only have eyes for the two of you. But for now, I would play the bitch, and ignore him, ignore his bullshit and focus on you and the baby. I know its hard but try.In the end he is just going to miss the attention.
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