A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello IM GETTING MARRIED IN NOV.im so excited butt heres the problem i fear that my love for my fiance is not letting me see whats really going on i maybe wrong but you tell me what it sounds like my fiance works with a girl that he told me was gay and wasnt into men and she has hes phone number but not even hes work has hes cell phone number she was texting him really late one night when we were fighting over her as you see she called me from hes cell phone and just said oh i think there some one on your phone hunny he said she wanted to know the time and picked it up and it was an accident her calling me well while he was texting her i told him we were working things out between us and she could wait he said he stoped texting her but then i seen him texting again like he didnt care for my feelings and when i asked why he said that he was leaving him self a memo,well i didnt buy it so i said im leaving to my mothers and he can have her i was very upset then he said he would show me hes phone that he texted me to check my cell phone well i did ne text message later i looked at hes phone and they were all to her i did not open them just seen who they were to i was to upset i am having hes baby and am so stressed out im lost and confussed now here is something more confussing he told me the next day she had showed him here id and that she was infact a man and still had its parts and everything he said it really sounds like a guy and looks as a man well i heard her voice and she doesnt sound like any man at all but then again i droped the fight as i know its not good for the baby we start to have sex an she calls and he answers saying he didnt know it was her and he didnt hang up right away either she started asking him does he always sound sexy or is he doing it for her he said huh as i was next to him and said he had to go to bed with me as i didnt feel to good she was really mad at this and hung up with out good bye and i was upset to he tried texting her before speaking to me i got dressed and left and i was at my moms a good 15 mins away and had been there 2 and half hours before he cald saying he was giving me space he was sorry and doesnt want me or her mad at him as they work togetherbut he wasnt home alone i heard her voice in the back round so i got in my car and raced home by the time i got there i seen a car driving out my drive way and leaving and my house smelled of sex and i found a condom wrapper i started to cry and he got out the shower saying suga i thought you left i said she did im home now hes face almost fell off saying that he couldnt believe i was crying and i surprized him by being so upset i couldnt by that chessey line hurtfully i asked who did you have sex with dont like i seen her pull out our drive way and the house smells of sex and i found the condom wrapperhe said that it must have been from me and him earlier the smell and the condom was from then and they may have had the wrong house first our dog was locked out side as he wouldnt like some one he doesnt know in our home! second i am pregnant we do not use condoms! third it never smells like that after we have sex and we didnt even get going when it all happend !he then said the womans voice in the back ground was the tv but the tv doesnt talk to you and ask you questions and expect answer back now does it ????????what do you think did he cheat or do you think stress is getting to me ?????????
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cheated on me, condom, fiance, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, landsharks1stlady +, writes (16 September 2007):
Hi honey ... as everyone else has admitted, he is not being faithful. I've been in your shoes and can guarantee just as heartbroken as you are. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years and recently had our first child in January 07. I spent the last 4 months of my pregnancy at "our" home, in "our" bed and most of the time all by myself. He does Advertising & Marketing for some multi-millionaire who has a lot of big properties in Las Vegas (where we live) and there are a lot of parties that he has to attend. Of course, I was not allowed to attend any of these parties for some reason or another. I've found the condom wrappers, i've heard the phone conversations with other girls and i've even found pictures of himself grabbing his thang-thang on his phone (which he sent to other girls - none of them being me). When ever i've approached him about cheating, he always blamed it on "my insecurities" and swore he wasn't cheating. I recently moved out in May and let me tell you, it doesn't get any easier as the days go by as long as you continue with the lies. The main thing to focus on now is your baby's health as well as your own. Stress is twice as hard on the baby, so relax and make time for you! I was in labor for 16 hours and when I delivered my son i had some slight complications. He came out right arm first and the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice. Thankfully he was ok, but the stress is going to make your labor difficult. No one can tell you to leave your man, only you know exactly how much you can take. He is being selfish and very disrespectful and you AND your child deserve to be treated better!! Please feel free to email me @ [email address blocked] if you ever need to talk!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): I reckon hes cheating I mean how did a condom wrapper find its way into your house? he sounds like scum and you deserve better. its hard cos you love him but as soon as u realise what a loser this man is you'll be glad to have him out of your life. and how desperate is this "woman" ??
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (15 September 2007):
He's not totally devoted to you. Better to break up now than after the wedding.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 September 2007):
 You have your evidence. You know what the answer is without coming on here to ask the question. I'll tell you, when it doesn't feel right in a relationship, it probably isn't. People wouldn't have suspicions if someone didn't give them opportunity to have them. He's given you justifiable opportunity. You need to lower your stress while you're pregnant. That's all you need is a high risk birth because your stress transfered to your baby.
You need to stop focusing on him. Don't take his excuses. We have a saying here "Excuses are like assholes, everybody has one" Tell him you know what's going on, you're not willing to discuss it, unless he can be truthful, because not being doesn't get you anywhere, and is a waste of time. You need to be strong, and firm when talking to him. I know it sometimes seems rough to do so, but you need to quickly clear the air with him, find out where you stand, separate if you need to or if he did cheat, and start focusing on your baby.
I'm a single parent myself. I remain that way by choice. Too much BS in relationships, so I choose not to have one. My ex and I didn't work out. She lives in a different state. When we were together there was a lot of stress in our home. She's single too, and neither one of our homes have stress, or fighting. For my children, who do see there mom on visit. Do you think their better off being in a happy single parent home, visiting a happy single other parent home, or do you think they would do better in a two parent home, with anger and stress?
I know it's scary having a baby, especially with the possibility of him not respecting your relationship, but don't stay with someone because of a baby. If you're happy, your baby will be. If you're sad, you're baby will develop behaviors would probably would not like them to have.
Did you know if you have a low self esteem, and raise a child. Your child may pick up on the same views looking at themselves?
Take care of yourself and your child, and make sure if this or any other relationship works out, you're not the only one it benefits.
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