Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): Girl keep your baby and file for child support.....these men need a reality check. I am in the same situation. I am 3 months pregnant and found out that his "baby momma" is pregnant and another chick. he ws so happy about the baby until he found out about the other two woman, now he wants me to get rid of my baby because he can't afford 3 babies...NOT MY PROBLEM. Hopefully this will help turn them ito real men because right now they are acting like little boys
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (21 August 2009):
 4 times birth control failure? Sounds like operator error. I really suspect that there is another truth out there. Some thing that has been hinted at, but not said outright. This guy is some kind of Super Stud? Obviously he doesn't believe in using birth control of any kind. 4 women pregnant in under 9 months? Or just some slacker trying to duck his responsibility. Either way you are better off without him. His money on the other hand, I would go for.
FA
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): I would vote to have another abortion. The conditions for this pregnancy are pretty textbook, neither of you wanted a child and he isn't even willing to make eye contact with either one of you now. This problem is not the failure of a relationship, this is a plain old failure of birth control.
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A
female
reader, Rosy  +, writes (19 August 2009):
get rid of him and bring up your baby on your own.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (19 August 2009):
 Your boyfriend?
Still in denial it seems.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (19 August 2009):
You have no obligation to have an abortion for his convenience. Fortunately for you The Army will make getting child support easier. At least that is my understanding. There are options aside from abortion if you feel you can not raise the child.
I am sorry you are in this position. Everyone makes mistakes, some of us make the same mistake over and over. That is past now. Time to plan for the future.
FA
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A
male
reader, greg290352 +, writes (19 August 2009):
 Cut the rat out of your life totally. However he still ought to pay support and I would see a lawyer about that. Once proved money can be taken out of his wages. He treated you very badly and you need to ensure that he faces up to his financial responsibilities. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): I would strongly recommend accepting that this man is likely not going to be a very supportive co-parent. Your next move should be to obtain legal advice. You are going to need help getting the support you and your child deserve.
Congratulations! I wish you and your child all the best!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): Drop him!
He lied to you about having other children!
You and Your Baby On the way will be better off without him
Remove him from your life.
Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, jstdunno +, writes (19 August 2009):
He's a scumbag and I feel bad for you and the child/ He cannot shun his responsibilities. If you have this child he will have to pay support.
Talk to someone , a doctor or planned parenthood or something. If you cannot afford to give this baby a decent life it's probably best to terminate the pregnancy but that's a decision only you can make
And for god ske in the future use protection. You had an abortion before you know what happens. Any one can make one mistake but twice?? Smarten up!
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A
male
reader, Perspicacious +, writes (19 August 2009):
Unfortunately, I think you have to accept that he has turned out to be a complete rat. He's had his fun, left a trail of destruction in his wake, and probably moved on to the next unfortunate woman.
Sadly, you are on your own and quite literally left holding the baby.
You clearly can't count on any emotional or practical support from the father, though of course you can get financial support through the courts if needs be (and if you have the baby you should ensure he at least meets that responsibility to you both!)
What you do next is up to you and you have some tough choices to make. The first thing to do though is accept that you have been left on your own to deal with this, and make your decisions on that basis.
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