A
female
age
41-50,
*odkablue
writes:hey everyonei really need a sympathetic ear here.im 34 years old and feel life is over. im in a dead end job, in a debt programme for the next 4 years and am alone. everyone around me is happy engaged or married and i seem to only be with people that use me for money-hence my current situation. my current ex knew i was very low but didnt care, just kept pushing me to breaking point and left me with 50,000 of debt which i took the blame for.i wish i could find someone nice-i would love to get married but i have few relatives only immediate family as due to a family scandal the majority of them deserted us. i just dont know what to do im so fed up with life
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female
reader, vodkablue +, writes (27 October 2009):
vodkablue is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou know i still feel low but hearing all your positive words to me helps thanku for caring xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): I'll make it a group hug
Now down to business. YOU ARE GREAT, always have been. I havent even met you and I can tell, so you must be
plain ans simple, its the other people in your life that suck... so ditch them. Or minimise their influence.. no more loans ok as a matter of fact its time you called in those tabs.
Is there something you have wanted to try??? Nows the time!! sailing, music, have you ever though of acting??
As for guys, we like an honest no nonsence girl. thats you!! You just have to get out there
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): Hi Hun, I am sending you lots of love and big hug, I promise you, you're not alone in your situation and at 34, you life is far from over....Many people do not start till much later and I know it's hard, I am in same situation, I am 30 next month and I live in a shared house in a starnge families home, in a single room, I am 30,000 in debt, due to spending reckless in my 20's with no care. I am too in a dead end job, with s**t pay and can't meet a guy (I seem to always get left) I met someone, he left me for someone else, twice! ha ha. All around me my friends are getting married, having babies and buying houses, I can't even afford a car (I don't even drive) let alone a house.... BUT I figure all be ok, has to, you know. But you need to start helping yourself to, do something about that dead end job, trust me, I have decided to be a teacher, I am not sure I 100 percent want to, but I know that it is good pay and better then what I am doing now, so I am starting a course next year to become one, then I can have money to buy own place and things. I am starting putting money way, to learn to drive and as for all friends settling down, who cares, when right one comes, he will, at 30, 40, or 50! lol! It's never too late, so be happy and remember still young so go at get life! xxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 October 2009):
I'm really sorry you feel this way. I do understand.
I suspect what has happened is that a lot of things have happened to you over the past few years, and it's now become overwhelming. This can be fixed though, but it might take time. People have a terrible habit of looking at all the problems they have and then not dealing with them because it seems like there are so many. I think you need to take each individual problem you have and deal with the one at a time. You've already found help for the debt, which is a really positive step. So be proud of yourself for starting to move foward. Next, I would suggest looking at your job. If you think it's dead end, then is there any way you could look for a new one? Or perhaps even re-train if it's possibel for you? Generally speaking, good guys look for women who are confident and happy. A good guy will be scared if he meets you and you're feeling low, or you're. So it's important for you to just try being happy for yourself before you meet guys. I konw you're in debt, which will make it a bit more difficult for you to socialize. But you should set yourself a spending limit and make sure you're going out, or perhaps doing a hobby you enjoy that's cheap. Dancing might be a good one. Spend some time just loving yourself, then when you're ready, the right guy will come along and you'll be in a better position to get into a relationship. Really focus on yourself now. I wish you all the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): Im sorry you feel so low, but you need to think of the positives in your life, your job is probaly fine and it pays the bill right? try joing a sports club to meet someone new and do things you enjoy and surround yourself with good friends, the ones who take your money are not friends their users and unfortunately there are lots of them out there ensure everything is halfed in your next relationship and your not stuck like this again... all the best...
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