A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi.I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, but 2 months ago we had sex. We did use a condom but I had many symptoms of being pregnant. I finally took a test 2 weeks ago and it was positive. I haven't told anybody except for my bestfriend, she wont judge me. I am really scared because I am only 14 years old!! I don't know how to tell my family, they will be so dissapionted with me, and I am worried that I might lose them. And as for my boyfriend, I am worried that he would break up with me. I am totally against an abortion, but I really dont know what do do!Can anyone help me out here?Thankyou.
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (7 June 2012):
 Don't forget that whatever you do, and whoever you lose, you will also gain the most important person in your life - your child. So this fear of being alone, etc, is based on life as you know it now - but when your baby is here, it will be a different world.
Just take a deep breath. This is a big thing. This is not what you planned. This is not something your family expected. BUT, this is how it is. So don't rush anything, but just get used to the thought yourself for a while, then get up the courage to tell your family. And your boyfriend. I am sure that although they might be very shocked/cross with you, you absolutely will not lose them.
Try and think a year or more down the line. See your family with you with your baby. Of course they will love you and the baby. And it isn't hard to get there ... just hang on, and have faith. It will be ok.
A
female
reader, Shadow Rose  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 Unforutunately, you took that risk, and now you have to pay the consequences.
The only thing you can do is tell your parents, and tell your boyfriend.
Your parents can help you, and if you decide to go through with this pregnancy, then your boyfriend will eventually find out anyways. And since you said you were against abortion, yeah, definitely tell him.
He's just as guilty as you are (I think that's a saying?) in this. And you need to tell him because he is going to be a FATHER. I don't know if you realize that or not, but this isn't just some punishment for having sex or anything. If you go through with this, you will be a MOTHER.
And you NEED to tell your mother (and father). They can help you. And I'm sure they will help you. That's what parents are there for, to help their children when they mess up and make mistakes.
As it was said before, it's going to be tough, but unfortunately, every action has a consequence. And yes, I just said that a baby is not just a punishment, but what I'm saying now is that as a result of your actions and your decisions, you are now faced with a decision, a new life!
And you NEED your parents help on this. They can guide you and support you on whatever path you choose.
And after this is all over, let's hope that there's a moral and a happy ending to this story.
It breaks my heart to see girls so young, still children themselves, pregnant and not knowing what to do....
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A
female
reader, SOShelp +, writes (5 June 2012):
 No matter what happens you MUST tell your parents. This is one of the rare occasions when they actually know what they're doing.Be prepared that if you're only 14 they'll be in shock because;1)You have had under-age sex (your choice, you body)2) You are pregnantAlso be prepared that they may not believe that you used a condom because you are pregnant.As for your boyfriend? Will he want to know or not? Tell him first and if he breaks up with you then you need to tell your parents immediately.Telling your parents is going to be scary and hard on you and hard on them. Sit down when none of you are stressed and it it quiet. If you have younger siblings ask for them to be out of the house. Bring your boyfriend of your friend for support. Don't mess around with telling them, tell them straight. Be prepared for shouting, crying or shock because they will need to take it in. Let them speak in their own time.You MUST stay calm no matter what happens. If you don't want to keep the child then consider abortion (I know you are against it but talk it through with your parents and GP) or consider adoption. If you do keep the child then think about;-Can you give a good quality of life?-Can you be a good parent for the child?-Will you have enough supportYour parents will understand what you are going through, even if you don't believe it. Just do what is best for you and the baby.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): You need to first talk to your boyfriend. And then sit BOTH your parents down and tell them.
You have to do it together. You are both responsible. He as much as you.
So tell him and get your respective parents together and break the news.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 June 2012):
 You HAVE to tell your parents. Simple as that. If you plan to carry this baby to term you WILL need prenatal care and doctors supervision.
And honestly if you can have sex with your BF you can tell him he got you pregnant.
Honey, you are 14. How are you going to deal with all this alone? You friend can't take you to the doctor, she can't help you, your parents can. They WILL be disappointed, but they will also want you to see a doctor and be healthy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 June 2012):
 I like that . " She won't judge ". Look, if you have to fear being judged for something , - then don't do that something that will make you judged to begin with !
Independence and adulthood is not doing whatever the f.. passes through your mind, it is doing what you decide to do AND owning your actions, without shame or fear. If you can't do that-then it's not the right action, and as such it is passible of criticism.
Sorry about the ,IMO, necessary ear pull and reality check, - and , in answer to your question : your parents CAN help you , and they will. You'll see, they will. Tell them. Right away. Of course they'll be disappointed, they'll be upset, they 'll kick some dust at first- what do you expect ? It's not just as you had lost your lunchbox and they have to buy you a new one, you screwed up some more.
But , you will NOT lose them, You don't lose your parents for something like that, honest. If they are just half decent, semi normal parents, you don't even lose them for much worse than that.
Funnily enough, in a way they'll love you MORE. Because being pregnant at 14 makes you particularly vulnerable, and in need of their protection and help and, well, love. And ,again, the chance that an average parent would deny you that when you most need it is about one in a billion. Of course, maybe this help and guidance and support won't be offered at first with a happy smile on silver platter. That's normal. But, hang in there and it will all work out eventually .
As for the bf, well, you have to tell him too ( but parents first, in this situation you need them more ). After all, this baby is also his, he's entitled to know.
How will he take it, I have no idea, not knowing his age, how's your relationship etc. But if he should dump you as soon as he knows you are pregnant, - then do not regret him for one sec, it would mean he is the wrong, wrong, WRONG guy for you, and he does not even deserve to be close to you- so, good riddance.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2012): For a start I think telling your parents would be a good idea. They will find out eventually, better its by you telling them now rather than them finding out some other way further down the line.
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