A
female
age
36-40,
*atie_Louise
writes:I really like this boy, his names jack, and people keep telling me to ask him out. But im really nervious and i dont know what to do. My friends keep telling me to have sex with him and go on from there, but the thing is im only 14. and im still a virgin. They say its uncool to be a virgin, so im hoping someone will help me please x x
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female
reader, zaybaby120  +, writes (25 August 2008):
those girls are not your friends sweety, point blank. and you dont go off and start having sex with any random person and expect to have a relationship from there.
i hope i helped and jus remember don't do anything that your not comfortable with! :D
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): Its actually the opposite, I think. Being a virgin is cooler. At least, when I tell people that I didn't lose my virginity until 21, and that my husband is the only man I have ever slept with, I get a lot of respect. My husband was impressed, and it made him feel so special to know that he was my first - and only. To teenagers sex may appear exciting and cool, but getting pregnant and having a baby at a young age isn't cool, is it? It also isn't cool to list a number of conquests to the man of your dreams. Stand your ground, respect yourself. Believe me, all those so called friends who are saying its uncool won't be saying that when they get older! Like some of the women who have posted answers already, they regret losing their virginity so young. Don't make the same mistake. A man who says you are "frigid" or similar because you haven't had sex isn't worth bothering with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): dont lose your virginity at 14 just because your friends want you to! if they said jump off a bridge would you!? i hope not. i am 16 and am still a virgin and would like to save myself for my husband. all my friends who are aged 16 to 18 are virgins. there is nothing uncool about it.
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A
female
reader, MidtownToDowntown  +, writes (13 August 2008):
This is the type of question where I kick into big sister mode and tell you what I tell my sisters and brothers.
You have your whole life ahead of you. Do you want to look back ten years from now and regret losing your virginity at forteen? What about when you're seventeen/eighteen and you get in a very serious relationship and realise that you would have prefered to have lost your virginity to them?
Making love the first time is more emotional than physical and at forteen you are most certainly NOT ready to deal with having sex let alone some of the consequences.
Also, you're under the age of consent.
Trust me when I say DO NOT GIVE IN TO PEER PRESSURE.
It's not cool, it's not the thing to do, you will not be gaining respect from anyone by sleeping with this guy.
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A
female
reader, DREAM69 +, writes (13 August 2008):
Don't listen to your friends. Sweeti, I had sex for the first time when I was 13 years old because I thought I loved the guy and I thought he loved me, and because my friend was having sex with her boyfriend. I regretted every moment of it, and after that, I ended up having sex with both of his best friends. My advice is to wait until you are completely ready, and not a moment before. If he loves you, and respects you, he will be willing to wait 6 months or more.
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (12 August 2008):
 Aw love, I feel for you. It's never fun to be on the receiving end of peer pressure like that.
Do not listen to your friends. 14 is a VERY young age to lose your virginity. Hell, I didn't lose mine until I was almost 18, and I have friends my age who are still virgins. It's NOT a bad thing, and has nothing to do with being 'cool'. Reputations are fleeting, but you only lose your virginity once, so wouldn't you rather it be with someone special than just some guy?
As for 'having sex and going from there' - how in the hell does that make sense?! What if you have sex with him and then find out he's a knob? That really is the backwards way to do things.
If you like him, go ahead and let him know, ask him to a movie or something, and get to know him. But don't ever feel obligated to do anything that you aren't comfortable with.
Be proud of your virginity! It doesn't mean you're uncool or frigid or a prude - it just means that you have the self control to wait for the right person, and that is worth much much more than being 'cool'.
Take care. =)
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (12 August 2008):
 good god, you're as old as my little sister. as far as i know she hasn't even kissed a guy and i want to keep it that way!
i had my first kiss at 16, and i lost my virginity at 18. and i am definitely cool. it is definitely cool to stay a virgin past 14!! most guys like it better that way later on!
please don't get peer pressured into doing something. sex is more than just sex, it's making love, it's a way of expressing deep emotional feelings for someone else.
it isn't something to be taken lightly, or to be given to just some random guy your friends point out!
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A
female
reader, sabz +, writes (12 August 2008):
 don't do it your 14 and not ready!Im 17 and just lost my virginity with my bf, because i knew he was the one. when i was your age i went threw the same exact thing and im so glad i didnt listen to my frinds or the boyfrinds i had!treat your virginity as something special and wait till you meet the right guy. and you wont at 14, just say you got with him, do you really think you going to be with him for ever? im finding it hard to explain just think about it. don't do anything just to fit in.
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