A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have booked myself a spa break in a classy hotel as a treat and my boyfriend is saying its a dodgy place to go in a hot tub with strangers in a bikini for a woman. He kept saying men could try and chat me up. I don't understand this Im going there to relax and have treatments not chat to men. I did ask him about coming too weeks ago several times but he was being a bit vague about it didn't seem interested then when I booked he said hes mad I didn't invite him! Am I wrong to go to the spa without my boyfriend would love to hear what men and women have to say ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 July 2019):
 Go to the spa. Enjoy yourself.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (22 July 2019):
LOL...Love this...Man logic fail. :))
If he doesn't go to keep men away from you, whose fault is that?
Plus...if you look that good in a bathing suit that men will chat you up, more power to you my dear. Maybe the right non jealous man, who appreciate a good woman may actually chat you up.
If you look that good that other men want you, then he should proud, not jealous. Because he was successful among other men to get you.
So yeah....You go and have an awesome time. For how ever long you are there, forget all your stress, and who ever stresses you out. :)
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (21 July 2019):
 Yeah, it seems to be a thing now, like baby showers.
Not wrong at all. He's allowed to be annoyed and you're allowed to be ok with it.
Go, relax and enjoy yourself.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (21 July 2019):
 I must be out of touch or something. Couples go on spa weekends???
He needs to relax and not worry about you. A bunch of women pampering themselves is not going to attract any men.
but I'm supposed to give you some advice or interpretation at least. He is upset because he is not going to have the pleasure of your company for a weekend. He will miss being around you. But he does not want to be caught within a mile of anything labeled "spa". He really just needs to relax and pamper himself in his own masculine way.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 July 2019):
 I'd say go. YOU are an adult and aren't going there to chat up men, but to relax.
What exactly is dodgy about that hotel? Did he provide any proof to that statement?
I can tell you this, I worked at a 5 star hotel in London (AGES ago) and dodgy stuff happens EVERYWHERE. Doesn't mean you aren't safe. Dodgy stuff can happen down the pub or city center. If you know what I mean.
He doesn't OWN you. And if YOU are paying you choose what to do with your money.
Funny how he wasn't interested when you booked it but now is mad...
If he really WANTS to come and spend time with you, BE can call and book himself in! Can't he?
He sounds like bad news.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (21 July 2019):
 I am scratching my head, wondering why a hot tub of all places would be viewed by your boyfriend as such a pit of iniquity. Most people will be there in pairs/couples/groups and, while some men MAY give you the eye, I am at a loss to understand why you would be in any danger. You sound quite capable of politely deflecting any "chat up".
How long have you two been together? Is this sort of behaviour normal for him? If so, I would seriously consider whether you want to live your life like this.
Enjoy your spa.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2019): I say good on you for going, he was invited but didnt commit to going why should you not go.
It's all about trust, I get he might not like the idea of you probably being around men but he knew that would be the outcome if he didnt go. It's all about give and take and its not like you was asking him to do something so bad he couldn't have gone.
I would stick to your plans personally, state if he wants to go you will try and change booking but you've done nothing wrong no
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (21 July 2019):
 Go to the spa. Consider dropping the immature, controlling boyfriend. Plenty of women go to spas on their own and don’t bother with men while there. There’s nothing wrong with pampering yourself, with or without him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2019): You are perfectly entitled to go to a spa by yourself without your boyfriend. He doesn't own you. Its not weird to relax in a hot tub in a bikini. You could get chatted up any time or place - in a relationship you have to trust that the other person will reject any such advances
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