A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I begin being happy for others? Two years ago, I lost my job and got into a car accident. While I’m trying to get back on my feet, I see that my friends are moving out of my parents’ homes. I still live with mine. A majority of people I know have great jobs and are beginning careers. Some have partners or children already, too. I often wonder if social media is affecting the way I think of others and myself. Is that true? I am grateful for all my parents and family have done. But at 25, I feel so stuck in life. I have older siblings that have accomplished so much, I don’t believe that I will get to their level. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2019): Envy overtakes the mind, and crushes the spirit.
Assessing the accomplishments and what other people have takes a lot of time and effort keeping-up with the details of what they have; as compared to what you don't have.
God blesses everyone in their own time, for different reasons, and in different ways. When you focus too much on the blessings of others, you don't recognize or appreciate those blessings you receive. As a result, your blessings begin to slow-down and dry-up. Instead of giving thanks, and showing your happiness in the knowledge that those you love and care about are prospering; you're hating on them for receiving God's favor. They are earning and reaping the rewards of their hard work and perseverance. More comes to those who take the time to give thanks.
You lose your ambition and give-up trying; when all you can see is everybody doing well but yourself! The devil gets a big grin on his ugly face when he sees that happening!
I am so sorry, about the accident and loss of your job. We all have our seasons of prosperity; and the we all face storms and calamity. It is part of life. We develop our survival-skills by undergoing challenges and overcoming obstacles.
Your most obvious blessing is coming out of a car accident with your life. You didn't mention that you were disabled for life, or lost any limbs. You didn't kill anyone. I will assume that to be somewhat miraculous. There is always the worse-case scenario. You didn't have to undergo that! Thank God!
Everyone will lose a job sooner or later. It is part of growth and mobility through life. You see the weaknesses and pitfalls in your life, but what do you do about them?
You're highly focused on what others have that you don't; instead of trying to figure-out ways to seek more of what you want out of life. It's easy sitting around moaning and complaining; and making excuses for our lack of productivity. Success requires hard-work and effort. It doesn't fall into you lap!
If we want more, we first have to be able to handle what we have. Everyone wants to be a millionaire; but not everyone can handle that level of success. Not everyone knows how to navigate through an upscale-lifestyle; if they've never done it before. People walk into a job fresh out of university, and think they're ready to run the place. They don't the ins and outs, or who got there first; and made that place good enough that they wanted to be a part of it!
Me, myself, and I...what I want. Study what you have, and it may be a lot more than you think! Ingratitude is why kids of billionaires are unhappy and still complain. Even if they're lavished with love and kindness, they still show envy for others.
Even too much is not enough for some.
Luke 12:48 (Amplified version): "For everyone to whom much is given, of him shall much be required; and of him to whom men entrust much, they will require and demand all the more."
Careful what you wish for: because you just might get it! We can't always manage everything we get.
If you want more out of life, first appreciate small blessings. You wake-up each morning, with a fresh start on life. You're in your early 20's! You've got all 5 senses working for you, a sound mind, and you didn't mention anything has been amputated; or that you are paralyzed in any part of your body.
How many people do you know, or hear about on the news, whom have had worse to happen to them? I can think of many who didn't fare as well. They're dead! I know of one in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident.
Anybody and everybody may lose their job. You can always find another job. You might fail. You may move-up, remain linear in your progress in life; or you can find another path, and move-on.
Social media is where everyone fools everybody else into thinking they've got it on the ball, no worries, and success just won't leave them alone! They smile goofy-smiles in a never-ending blitz of stupid selfies; and pretend life is always honky-dory!
Everybody has problems, woes, and setbacks. Survival is learning from your mistakes, overcoming your obstacles, and living to see another day. It's not just making a lot of money, going on fabulous vacations, and always having fun. You're not a failure, just because your success is delayed. It means you've got more work to do! It means God's sitting there waiting for you to ask Him for help. He won't force Himself on you! Destiny has a plan all worked-out for you!
Pray on it. Introspect on it. Set some goals. Devise a plan. Then go do it!
First and foremost, be thankful everyday for everything that you have; no matter how small. There are the homeless, disabled, mentally-ill, and helpless who would give anything to trade places with you. What you take for granted, is what you miss the most when you lose it. Feeling envious of others is an offense to God. He generously dispenses His love-gifts to everyone, whether deserving or undeserving.
If you're busy feeling He short-changed you, you'll become blind to everything that you have that has been given to you to help you to prosper. He rejoices when you're blessed and happy. Others who love you are ecstatic when they see you doing well and living a good life.
You've hit a rough-spot; so I understand how you feel. I've been there too. I didn't always know what I know. I had to learn. Now I must teach others how to get through their seasons. It gets worse sometimes before it gets better. You'll still get through it. Smarter and stronger!
Your blessings will be placed on-hold until you're ready and able to handle more of them, you've stopped being jealous of others, and learn to be thankful.
Sweetheart, you have much more life ahead of you. You can look forward to at least 60 more years to get your act together! Now that's quite a blessing!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 July 2019):
 There are as many PATHS in life as there are people. Seriously.
Success is not a one shoe fits all, either. If EVERYONE was equally successful REGARDLESS of effort, no one would really BE successful.
SET some goals for yourself that are REALISTIC and go down that list one by one.
Life isn't going to HAND you stuff. Careers. Friends. Happiness. THAT is up to you.
Comparing yourself to others will help NO ONE, least of all YOU.
YOU are responsible for YOUR life. Which also means YOU need to find what makes you happy, what goals, hopes and dreams you have.
Lastly, BE glad when others around you do well for themselves. It ONLY means if THEY can do it... so can you. It doesn't mean BECAUSE they can you it, you are somehow inferior or whatever. No.
So get off your ass, set some goal (small at first) and GO for it.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (22 July 2019):
See your statement here..."I don’t believe that I will get to their level."
So you have already given up before you tried??? If you believe you are a failure, when opportunity for success comes along, you will screw that up because you believe otherwise.
Why do you care about other people's lives?? They got to be where the are by NOT believing they are failures. They sure as hell did not spend their time worrying about other people's lives. They went and lived their own.
Think of your life like driving on an highway. Traveling a 100 miles an hour. Other people's lives is like texting, or people in the other cars all around you. What happens if you start texting while driving, or paying all your attention on the other drivers??? Same thing happens now when you focus on other people, and not yourself.
Bill Gates did not get successful by focusing on Apple's success. He focused on what he needed to do to get his own.
A bird building it's own nest does focus on what the other animals are doing. If it did, it's own nest would never get built.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2019): There are no negative emotions. They all tell us something about ourselves. Jealousy too. When you are jealous of someone it's only a sign that that person has something that you want. And that is a good thing, because it means that you either know or have learned at that instant what it is that you want, so you can go out and get it.
Let's say that you are jealous of a friend who is stay at home mom. It wouldn't mean that you would like to have HER husband or HER children. It would mean that you would like to get married and have a family.
If you are jealous of a friend who has just landed a great paying and interesting job, well it's a sign that you should work on your career.
But, what happens if you are jealous of all your friends who are doing something with their lives? Well, as you said it, you feel left behind and you should do something about it. If you do not have a job - get one, start earning and move out. It will drastically improve your sense of self worth. Or, you could use living with your parents to get a degree or a higher degree, learn a skill or a language...
The way most people use social networks - self promotion, is poison and can aggravate and even trigger depression and anxiety. People present themselves in the way they would like their lives to be, not the way they actually are. I can tell you and not be lying that I am happily married, own an apartment in Rome and a country house (with a pool!) in Italy and that I work in the movie business and that I am in a great shape. But the truth ALSO is that my husband and I sometimes fight, that our apartment is way too small, that we took a big loan for the house (the pool is small too) and that I work as a budgetary adviser (I rarely meet any celebrities) AND that even though I run marathons I have a pretty serious chronic health condition that requires constant care and meds. See what I mean. You can tell the truth and lead people to believe that you are better of than you actually are.
It's ok not to know what you want. But you should work on yourself and find something to do. It's not about getting to anybody else's level. It's about finding out what you want to do and then doing it :)
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (21 July 2019):
 Life is a journey we all complete at our own pace and in our own time. It should NEVER be viewed as some sort of competition or race. Someone having or achieving something does not affect what YOU can do or achieve, except possibly to give you more motivation.
I think social media leads you to believe that all your friends are having amazing lives, purely because they usually only post about the good stuff. After all, people don't usually post the mundane everyday stuff, just the pics of achievements, events, etc. Never compare what you have or what you are doing to what others have or are doing.
You have suffered a couple of set backs in your life which others have possibly not had to overcome. This may mean that you will take a little longer to achieve what you dream of but you WILL achieve it if you keep working towards it. Take each day at a time and focus on your goals. You WILL get there.
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