A
female
age
36-40,
*ueenet
writes:I feel worse every day. my boyfriend dump me five months ago for another girl. We worked at the same place and i cant avoid bumping in to him daily. he looks happy in his new relationship and am going crazy getting jealous any time i see him talking on the phone. I know he is not worth all am going through because he is crap all the way but i cant get him off my mind. its like am obsessed with him. i still love him and miss him a lot. what do i do. the worst part is he is getting married. i love this man a lot. i think about him more than i think about myself. what do i do?
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female
reader, ShiShisAdvice  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Learn your lesson, when you have a good guy KEEP HIM!! Move on, you have to, he has. You have no other choice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): If this man is already getting married 5 months after splitting up with you then he doesn't think very long about things does he. You are hurting now, but it is worse being with someone who doesn't want you than them being with someone else.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (31 December 2010):
 Hmmm...well you just have to learn to accept it then. Sorry...but the only other option you have is to act all obsessive and stalk him...and thats not such a good option.
Take a minute and think. Is this obsessive person the real you? Does that guy have THAT strong a hold over you that he's transformed a healthy, normal, happy girl into this person that you've now become. maybe its just a case of you wanting something that you cant have now. But remember, you're not losing him. He is the one losing you.
But this is all easier said than done. You need to stop bumping into him as frequently as you do now, so look at a possible transfer to a different department/place. If thats not working out, keep applying to other places to switch jobs. If that also doesnt work out, then be strong, hold your head high, and conduct yourself with dignity. There's a reason why you're not with him. You're better off without a man who doesnt respect you at all.
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A
female
reader, InLoveW/Love +, writes (31 December 2010):
Have you ever thought that maybe your just wanting what you know you can't have?? If he didn't have that new girlfriend/fiance and was completely available and as miserable as you, do you really think yall's relationship would be a good one?? After he dumped you for another girl??
I'm not trying to be harsh but you have to move on with ur life. This guy is no good for u. And while your obsessing over him you could be missing out on prince charming. :)
Give yourself time to mourn, don't talk to that guy, and move on. Its OK to feel the way you feel. But eventually you have to let him go.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (31 December 2010):
Hi there. You are just missing what you had, when times were good between you before.
It's going to take time to get over him.
You need to start building your own self confidence again, and believing in yourself. You also need to gain some emotional independence.
The best way to start moving on from all this, is to start going out with your own friends and having fun and enjoying life again. The more you go out and circulate, the less time you sit at home pining your heart out over him all the time.
As you work together, this isn't helping either. Could you possibly ask for a transfer to a different department, so you won't be bumping into each other quite so often?
The other alternative of course, is leaving the company you work for, altogether. Then you won't bump into him at all. While ever you are both working at the same company, you are just being tormented by seeing him all the time. Surely you deserve better than that. Each time you see him, you are being reminded of what was - over and over again. Going out socializing, will also take your mind off him - a distraction.
If it was me, I would be leaving or transferring. Another possibility is does the company you work for, have another branch in another town, if so you could put in for a transfer there. Out of sight, out of mind.
The main thing is to not place yourself in a situation where you are continually being reminded of him. You need to distance yourself from the situation as much as you possibly can. Then you will have time to heal completely. Then and only then, can you begin to move forward - once and for all.
Good luck and best wishes. Take care.
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