A
female
age
30-35,
*addington_devil
writes:I am 16 years old and practically on the brink of taking my GCSEs (in fact, I've got my first oral on Monday). Problem is, for eight months I haven't been able to stop thinking about a teacher at school. I would estimate him to be in his late twenties, early thirties. This guy isn't actually my teacher, nor has he ever taught me, but I see him a lot round school and he once tutored me on a maths question when I asked him randomly to help me. I know you'll think it's my imagination - maybe it is - but when we pass each other in the corridors, he seeks me out and makes really intense eye contact with me, turns his head to watch me go, etc. Maybe you'll all think it's paedophilic and wrong of me to obsess over a guy so much older than me - I have guys my own age who ask me out, but I'm just not interested in them at all. When I see this teacher, my heart jolts in my chest. This teacher, for whom I nurse such a burning, secret passion, is leaving at the end of the summer term. I have two weeks left - Year 11 goes on study leave on May 9th - after which I'll probably never see him again. The thought makes me want to cry.What shall I do? Should I put a love note in his pigeonhole and leave it at that? I know it'll never amount to much more, but I think that just by writing this, it's already helped a little.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Whether he teaches you or not, he could grass you up and your parents and the whole school (teachers, headmaster etc.) would know.
It would be a serious matter because he could get arrested. Besides you don't really know him.
Good luck on your GCSE's by the way, I'm taking mine too =D
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Now I don't know if he feels the same way or anything, but giving him a letter and arranging a meet or something is probably the best way to find out. He's not exactly gonna tell anyone else about it.Good luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): Sorry..about my reaction...but girl you are 16 is so difficult to make a relationship with your teacher..Dont put his career at risk! Maybe he see you only as a little sweet girl and he just like you!But hello i'm sure he has a woman beside him!Or maybe you have a chance..(i'm just laughing)find a man on your age..you will communicate with him better!I'm a teacher too..and so many girls sent me a note or ii find chocolates on my desk..stuff like this..i just feel more charmy!but only that!
And as i read you just find him attractive nothing more..so don't be rediculous..at him and to yourself..just tr to make yourself more mature..
Sorry of being bad,,but i think my answer will help you find the right way..
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female
reader, caddington_devil +, writes (26 April 2008):
caddington_devil is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone for responding so quickly :) At my school, it's common knowledge (among students) that some of the sixth formers have had relationships with men on the teaching faculty or technicians - I think that's what put the idea of myself and him together in my head. I see it's prob a ridiculous notion now. After posting this question I saw that countless girls my age (and even younger) had the same predicament. Maybe I'm not different from the rest of them - but I don't fancy him because I see him as a man in a position of power or anything. I like him as I would like another boy closer to my age. I wish there weren't so many barriers.. :(I think maybe the best thing to do would be to write him an anonymous message telling him I'll miss him and that I think he's wonderful. I thought about it last night and I don't think I want it to go further than that. I won't put his teaching reputation at risk.Again, thanks for your replies, they were very helpful.Love_is_all_youu_need, I might take you up on your offer - I'd be interested to hear your story.Txxxx
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female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (26 April 2008):
 Hi there!
I understand wht you're goin thru. I wrote a letter to my teacher early this year and I was left very hurt because of the consequences. For me it was the wrong timing, however for you it's a different situation - it may be the last time you ever see him!
Writing a note to him will probably flatter him if you don't go into too much detail! I don't see a problem with it, as long as you do it on his/your last day at the school. Would you consider talkin to him about it instead, just say that you're really goin to miss him and get the point accross that he means alot to you?
It may or may not help you cope better, knowing that he's aware of how you feel about him! However it should be a relief to know that it's out in the open.
Whatever you decide, whether it's a little note or speaking to him in person - Don't go over the top, like saying he's the love of your life etc. It'll make him more concerned than flattered. And you probably want him to leave with a good impression of you!
If you want any tips, mail me xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): Well well we have the same problem..but i have a small difference age..i'm older than 20 that makes things to me more easier with him..
I can surely understand you..is not your imagination believe those are the first signs of love..But, if you give him the note?how you can be sure about his reaction..(the good thing is that he gone leave so..that helps you..if he don't want you i mean)
How old is he?I thing it would be better talk to him..not so deep but make him realise that you see him different..i mean saw him the feelings you have..but in 60% then is his turn,,if he doesn't make something!then he don't deserve you!they are better out there than him..
Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): Don't write a note, there's no point in doing that. If he chooses to ignore it you will be totally embarassed and upset. If he takes any notice of it you will be tempting him into something he should not be doing. He's a good fifteen years older than you, a mature man with a career and quite possibly has a girlfirend tucked away somewhere. Don't make a fool of yourself. He'll be flattered that you are looking at him and it will have boosted his ego. But please, just let it remain a crush. Most of us have been through this at some time in our lives - you'll get over it.
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male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (26 April 2008):
 You can let him know how you feel but if he is a stand up guy I think he will probably tell you that you should wait and find someone else because of your age. It is not uncommon for someone your age to have a crush which eventually passes.
But in the mean time you are experiencing a real set of emotions here. It will be emotionally painful if you cannot satisfy this crush, so just be prepared for this event. Doc
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