A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently I've gotten to know a boy really well. We did stuff that felt intimate to me whilst he still had a girlfriend. However, he recently split up with her and when i asked him if it meant anything he said "not particularly".Despite this, we talk on msn and text each other pretty much everyday and spend quite a lot of time together. His friends have picked up on it and tease him.I really like him but am not sure where i stand with him. What do I do?
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female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (19 August 2009):
 The first thing that should set off alarms in your head is that he cheated on his girlfriend with you. If he did that, what's to stop him from cheating on you with someone else if you became his girlfriend?
It is very rare that a guy breaks up with one girl to go out with another. (Note that I said RARE. It does happen, just not very often.) Because I don't want to sound judgmental, I'm going to share a bit of my experience with you, and you can take from that what you will.
I had a very similar situation with a guy that I REALLY liked. He was with another girl, but we got to talking and confessed that we had a mutual attraction. So, we had sex. I'm not proud of it, I knew he was with someone else, but I did it anyway because I was under the impression that once he realized how great it was, he would discover he really wanted me. Then he would break up with his girlfriend and we could be together.
HOWEVER, that is not at all how it ended up happening. The sex was great, all right, so great that he decided he didn't want to be tied down to ANYONE. He had a long, tearful breakup with his girlfriend (for which I was present...as were a lot of people, it was pretty public), and then walked out of the room without looking my way. I thought he was just saving face, but in trying to contact him over the next few days, weeks, months...he finally let me know that he had broken up with one girlfriend and had no intention of getting tied down again.
So, the fact that you asked him if it meant anything and he said "Not particularly" kind of puts up a red flag for me.
Be very, very careful. You don't want to end up hurt. I don't believe the whole "Once a cheater, always a cheater" concept, but 9 times out of 10, it proves to be true.
masq
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