A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a dilemma. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now...long time! I do love him and most of the time everything is perfect...however every few weeks we have arguments about random things and I get so many doubts about our relationship and want to break up but I don't think I'm brave enough to do it! I've been with him since I was 16/17 and I feel that if I do stay with him, I'll have missed out on all the fun and excitement of young single life and dating, etc.The second part of my dilemma is this...my boyfriend has this friend (I'll call him Harry), and whenever we go out with him, he always talks to me loads, and touchy feely..putting his arm around me, hand on my knee, etc. My boyfriend and all his other friends say that he fancies me, but I'm not so sure. The most recent night out he was flirting with one of my other friends, but me and my boyfriend still had a huge argument about him. Then one of my friends told Harry that we were arguing about him...! I've spoken to Harry since and he mentioned that he may like my friend who he was flirting with, and then he mentioned something about "bro" rules and all that, as my friend had had a thing with one of Harry's friends. So I'm guessing that Harry doesn't like me in that way, or he's backing off because he's friends with my boyfriend! It's quite confusing...but I'm kind of heart broken over Harry, because I had developed a HUGE crush on him...and now I'm thinking why am I still with my boyfriend when I like other guys and am having all these doubts about him...?!My boyfriend is great...funny, cute, caring, kind, goob job, nice family, etc. but I think I just want some excitement when I'm young. And I know that if I stay with him and end up marrying him, I'll become frustrated and regret never having had a young single life and dating over guys, etc. I don't think I'm brave enough to break up with him though because I might regret it...and then never find anyone else...I just don't know what to do!!!Please help :)x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): Whatever that will give you stability and security and support to help your career at this stage, although you are wishing to be adventurous
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (18 August 2009):
 Hi,
As you get older your priority's change. What's important to you now, may not be in 10 years time. All I am saying is that you should trust you heart.
Because I had a wonderfull B/F when I was at school, and we stayed together for almost 7 years in all, then one day I decided we should split. Everyone said I was mad because he loved me so much, but there was something missing. I eneded up going through a lot of bad stuff (although very happy now) but I never regreted splitting up with him.
I hope whatever you do, you are happy. Life is what you make it, and always treat your other half with the respect you would like yourself...and if he doesnt, then kick him to the curb!.. LOL XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses. 'The grass isn't always greener' sums it up perfectly...that's what I'm scared of I think if it's not greener! But I know that if I'm going to get married one day, I want to be completely and utterly devoted to them! So I guess that's the answer...
It's just that I know he loves me more than anything and wants to be with me, and at some points I think exactly the same. But then we argue about something or other...and basically he wants me to have no male friends for the rest of my life because he gets so jealous. How can I go through my life like that?!
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (18 August 2009):
Go with your heart..if you feel you are missing out, then find out. But dont leave your B/F for another guy, because it will only cloud your judgement. Have some time on your own, and have some fun with your mates.
A word of warning though "The grass isnt always greener"
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A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (18 August 2009):
 maybe you should tell him that you want a break from the relationship for a little while as you need some time to yourself that way you can see whether u prefer being in a relationship or not.i was with my ex for 4 years exactly, started dating when i was 16 i even had a child with him.everything was great until i got pregnant and his brother came out of prison and wanted my ex to go with him meeting girls i had girls calling his phone and everything and started to get very insecure that he was cheating whilst i was pregnant and after in the end i decided that i might have a better time if i was single so i plucked up the courage to end it and it was the best thing i ever done but it was hard as i still loved him.if you think that your better off being single to enjoy life then maybe give it a shot but remember your used to being in a relationship so the change might be dramatic and you might not like it at first but everything happens for a reason and there are plenty more experiences out there
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): Look,
You do not want to be with your boyfriend, so break up with him, be honest firm and clear and I am absolutely certain that he will get over it.
As for Harry, the guy sounds like a sleaze, why chat you up when you clearly have a boyfriend, this guy is bad news and will hurt you in my honest opinion.
Still though as a guy, any friend whod go out with my ex is not a friend of mine any more. If Harry does that itll tell you a lot about his character.
Anyway have you considered being single for a while??
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