A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:URGENT HELP NEEDEDi have been seeing this guy for less than a month.(he has been single for a year after being in a 5yr relationshp.his ex hooked up with his friend and they are getting married soon.)we are very attracted to each other.by the end of our first date, i was a lil tipsy...we went over to his place but didn't have sex.the more we met the more he wanted sex and i wasn't sure if he liked me (i am a 24yr old virgin).after thinking about it for a while, i finally told him i was ready (i have never felt the way i feel towards this guy).he sent me a text message that said he is not ready for a relationship and that right now all he is interested in is great sex,drinking and partying.he said he doesn't think i am ready for that. the next time i heard from him was after a month.he said we should meet and show him i am ready (sex).i really want to have sex with this guy cos i love him, i want him to the the first one. but i am not sure if i will be able to handle not beng in a relationship with him after that.plus, whether or not i will hear from him after that. please let me know really soon.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007): Girls sleep with guys in hopes of hooking them in all the time. It doesn't work. Then the girls often get hurt & angry. They can act like they were mis-led or emotionally abused even though the guy may have stated exactly what he felt from the beginning.
In a case like this, sleeping with the guy does not cause any "ratcheting up" of the relationship in his mind. Simple. You can either accept it or you can delude yourself because you don't like it. Your choice.
This guy does not want a relationship and he's told you that in plain english. You're not gonna get a relationship by sleeping with him. (In fact, it might very likely just push him away in the big picture.)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): thanks guys.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): Why do you love someone who doesn't love you back?
I mean after you have sex with him he's not going to kiss you and hold you and look into your eyes and tell you he loves you and make you a milk shake and rub your back.
Sex is soooo different and sooooo much better, its worlds apart, when you do it with someone you love and who loves you back.
P.S. Be careful because guys talk. And if you do it, he'll probably tell all his friends and even give them specific personal details about you physically and stuff that would mortify you. That's how guys are when they don't love you. It'll make you rethink how you felt about him in the first place. Just letting you know. Hope you make the right choice.
...............................
A
male
reader, memd92 +, writes (10 August 2007):
run run run away from this guy. He is not interested in you , he is only interested in getting drunk and popping your cherry. he will do that and throw you away like yesterdays trash.
...............................
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (9 August 2007):
 You are INFATUATED with this young man, do not mistake that for love. You have held onto your virginity for a long and very admirable time. Dont throw it away on someone who doesnt care about you the way he should. He sounds like an admirable young man, at least he was honest with you!! Perhaps when he is ready to be in a relationship and open his heart to you then the two of you can come together on equal footing. Then, if you are both in love and commited to each other, you should consider losing your virginity to him.
...............................
A
male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (9 August 2007):
 While I credit him for atleast being honest with you, he is not somebody you should have sex with. Understandably it is something that you want, but I still suggest that you wait until you find somebody who wants to be commited to you.Have your first time with somebody who you love, and who loves you too. Don't let something as special as that be shared with some guy who is only using you for what he wants.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): Don't have sex with him, please. You will only regret it after it's over. This man does not love you. You've waited a long time for sex, don't waste it on someone who doesn't care enough for you to have any sort of commitment. Beleive me, it says a lot to hold out for someone you care about and cares about you in return.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Dear, don't have sex with this man. You love him but he doesn't love you. He is using you. Don't make that mistake. Reserve your time and your body for someone who deserves it.
...............................
|
