A
female
age
30-35,
*tranger.
writes:Okay, my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 8 months now. he's one of the few good guys left in the world. he's sweet, nice, and caring. but the only problem is he doesnt go to the same school i do and he doesnt live near me. we met through a work program. we dont get to see each other very much maybe once a week is all.well my problem is that lately im not sure i feel the same way i once felt about him.i use to smile wen i got his texts and now it seems to sometimes annoy me.im not sure what to do.i feel like i should break up with him because i dont feel the same but i mean i dont want to break his heart.and i just dont understand why i dont feel like that anymore. hes such a good guy! why do i have to feel this way!help me. :(please.i need so much help.i dont want to make a huge mistake.he the only guy that has ever made me feel beautiful and like i deserve to be alive for a reason, that i was a good person.but i dont know why i dont feel the same way anymore.could it be because we dont see each other very much?help.PLEASE.:'(
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female
reader, allineedistime +, writes (5 December 2009):
Wow, I'm having the same problem as you. My boyfriend goes to another school and we see each other about as much as your see your guy. My boyfriend is sweet and caring, but he doesn't talk on the phone and he is a quiet guy who is not great at conversation. I found myself actually really liking another guy about a month ago and tried to break up with my boyfriend but then I felt so awful that I told him I didn't mean it and I was very sorry and we are still together. He's just such a sweetheart and he doesn't deserve it and I couldn't make myself go through with it. Well, a month later the situation is just as it was and I wish I was with this other guy who has never been more than friendly with me. He just seems so compatible and I feel like an awful girlfriend. I know this isn't very helpful, but I want you to know your not the only one and I know how hard it is. :'( I just wish I could love my boyfriend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): At the best of times it is difficult for people to maintain long distance relationships-they work but its a lot of effort. Seeing as you are still in school you obviously cannot simply hop into your car and drive out to each other. I think you know in your heart that things aren't going too well. His texts no longer make you smile, if you don't feel the same you can't help it, he's not going to be the last nice guy in the world. There are plenty still out there!
You can't stay with someone with the fear of breaking their heart, the longer you continue the harder it'll be for him and you. If you decide to end the relationship be honest. Tell him you know he's kind and caring but you just don't feel the same. Then you can both be free to move on.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 December 2009):
You answered your own question right there at the end. You can't see each other more than once a week, you don't live close and you can't really travel. Unfortunately, long distance relationships take a huge amount of effort and commitment. I know he's a nice guy and you don't want to hurt him, but realistically, how can this continue if you're now finding his texts annoying and you're not seeing him enough? He isn't the last nice guy in the world, there are others. And more than anything, you probably need to focus on your own life and esteem at this moment. You need to think very carefully about whether this can continue, and make a choice. Realistically, can you continue with this LDR?
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