A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm seeing this guy. We were both planning on losing our virginity to each other. He recently told me that he " unintentionally " lost it to his exGirlfriend. Itold him that if he ever did that, iwould move on and forget about him, but ijust can't. However, I'm not sure if ican forgive him for this. I've never been truely hurt before, and this is a big deal for me. How can ideal with this ? Cause idont know . .
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): then he didn't wait for you and lied. you should move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, he had sex with her while they were together.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): You are far too immature to have sex. Not your age, but your development within relationships.
Your virginity is special - especially for you, however, this isn't the problem. Its back to relationships....
1) He lost it to his ex... means he isn't over his ex. If he didn't have sex with her before when they were together until they broke up and there was a connection between you and him, doing what he did was selfish and spiteful.
2) I assume you meant he lost his virginity to her after they were together... but if he lost it while in relationship, he lied to you.
The biggest mistake of your age is being naive and feeling you have to comply to be accepted - people can continue to do that in their 30s etc. so don't see that as being too personal.
Trust, understanding and fairness are important in relationships. You have neither in yours - being not formally in a relationship has no exceptions. You really like each other and made a pledge he broke it and effectively cheated on you.
I say move on from him... better guys will come around. I can't say when though, and you will only realise that when you have more experience with guys (in a non sexual way).
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 January 2011):
 How do you loose a virginity unintentionally ? it's not a set of keys.
I did not understand if,when that happened, you and him were dating ? because in this case the main problem is not that he is not a virgin anymore, but the fact that he cheated on you. If this is the case, I am not sure you should forgive him . Do you really want to start dealing with lies and betrayal at the very beginning of your love life ?...
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A
female
reader, golddigger99 +, writes (16 January 2011):
 Losing your virginity is a HUGE deal. You should lose it to someone who hasn't already betrayed your trust. If he has done it once, he will do it again, so don't even waste your time. You are young, and should NOT feel pressured into having sex with someone who is not held to your highest standards. Losing your virginity is not something that you can do more than once, so no regrets, make sure it is done right. My advise--skip out on him and find someone that truely cares about you. You are young and have plenty of time to do this. However, when you do, make sure that you are completely aware of the possible consequences of having sex like STDs and PREGNANCY. If you are not on the pill, consider visiting your local clinic. Most clincis offer FREE birth control and condoms. But remember, the ONLY 100% effective form of birth control is abstinence.
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