A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I need help getting a really special guy back....whenever I try to tell him I still like Him he's a totaly a** to me....I no he likes me he just won't admit it because he dosnt wanna lose his pride after dumping me because I said he needEd to put more efort into being with me...how do I get him back without him being mad at me and him thinking he lost his pride? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): ~CHILD vs MAN~
That he has opted to withdraw rather than accept accountability for his lack of appreciation for you and therefore has decided to place his pride above due apology to you along with an active and attentive behavior to act correctly speaks volumes of his lack of maturity.
Do not invest another second of your time in him. Let him be, as he is a burden on your shoulders.
It isn't your responsibility to act on his behalf with respect to his behavior or lack thereof with you.
It is clear he and you are of two distinct leagues.
You will find comfort, stimulation and pleasure in a mature accountable man, and he is not that man.
Step away from that child, as room is necessitated for a man.
God Bless.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): A relationship mandates maturity and accountability, amongst other attributes. It is not your place to burden the loss of pride that he owns as a consequence of his own behavior. That he has opted to withdraw rather than accept accountability for his lack of appreciation for you and therefore has decided to place his pride above due apology to you along with an active and attentive behavior to act correctly speaks volumes of his lack of maturity. Do not invest another second of your time in him. Let him be, as he is a burden on your shoulders. It isn't your responsibility to act on his behalf with respect to his actions or lack thereof with you. It is clear he and you are of two distinct leagues. You will find comfort, stimulation and pleasure in a mature accountable man, and this one is not that man. Step away from him, a child, as room is necessitated for a man. God Bless.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 January 2011):
 hey Ann,
Let me answer your question first and then offer some unsolicited, but very serious advice. And if you are closer to 13 than 15 the advice will be different.
If you are both 15ish, the way to get him back is to play it cool, as in cold. Especially if your goal is to protect his pride. Nothing gives a guy more pride than fixing a difficult problem. Winning you back needs to be something he has to work hard at. You see when you throw yourself at him you look easy to him, and he doesn't value you, or the relationship.
If you are both 13ish, Wait up to 5 years until he grows up. He is not emotionally ready for a relationship at this age even though you may be. He is not able to fill your emotional needs because of his maturity level. I'm not saying to replace him with an older guy, because that way leads to troubles. I know it is hard but waiting and keeping him secretly in your heart is the best way. If he hasn't come around by the time you are 16, Then it is time to reevaluate your thinking about him.
Now to the part you won't like but that I really hope you read anyway.
He can't be "really special" and a "total a**". Deep down he is either one or the other, my bet is he is an a**. His behavior (especially if he is older) looks like an abusive person. It does not look like a healthy, or safe relationship. If I were to look at your typing from the viewpoint of a psychoanalyst I would say that you were already beaten down and sublimating yourself. Which makes me even more scared for you. His response to your request that he fill your emotional needs, (leaving you) looks selfish , not prideful.
There is a growing trend for guys to be very concerned about their "pride". Frankly it worries me a lot. They end up giving away their happiness for their image. It could be that he is in this trap. If he is more worried about that the other fellows think he is tasking orders from a woman, than he is in touch with his own feelings then he simply is not good boyfriend material. When a man does what he feels is right regardless of what others think then he is a real man and not a strutting peacock. Then he has an inner strength that will not only attract strong women, but will make him a leader among men. A real man who can stand alone like that will not need to abuse anyone because others will happily follow his good example. Love rather than fear.
FA
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