A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hiya a guy who ive known for a year and a bit , who i slept with a few times then broke it off when i began to fall for him ooh and also said how he has a girlfriend contacted me a few days ago .when i asked him if he was still with his girlfriend he said he broke it off cause she wanted something seriouse . he now said to me how he wants to be friends and asked me round for a cuddle and kiss , he then says how he dont see me and will never see us as being a couple and that he doesnt wanna mess me about . and yet he wants to invite me round to his and will write texts explaining how he wants to have sex with me . is he using me again as a fuck buddy ? although he says were not fuck buddies but friends who pleasure each other is that not the same ?? and am i being used till he finds another girlfriend again
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fuck buddy, has a girlfriend, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, penta  +, writes (24 April 2007):
 I'm with Jay Jay on this one. Yes, you're his 'f**k' buddy. Whether that's a bad thing depends on what you want from him, or will want in the future. Having had one of those before, I can tell you that I'm a closet monogamist -- and I fell for him. Big Bad. Oh, so bad. And I should have known better.
If you might ever, even a little bit, want more than the occasional sex-in-between-girlfriends from this guy, do not be his 'friend with benefits.' Stop the sex now, and if he's not okay with that, then stop the friendship too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): Get rid of this guy .... quick !!
He broke off with his girl friend because she wanted
something serious, so you don't want something serious ?
I wouldn't be so happy if I were you when you think he
broke off with his gf and came back to you , he probably
thought you are the kind of gril that is "easy: , doesn't
want something serious , you don't want him to think that
way about you , do you ?
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A
male
reader, jmac1344  +, writes (24 April 2007):
 Yeah he is using you as a fuck buddy.
Doesn't mean he still dooesn't like you as a friend, he just sees you as a friend with benefits.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): You deserve real love and a man who will be fully committed to you this unfortunately is hard work,
You have to value and love yourself and treat guy’s casually as they The fact is this guy clearly knows what he wants out of this, and him saying he “doesn’t wanna mess you about” should now be speaking volume in your head
He’s cares about you and although he wants sex I bet a part of him wants you to stand up for yourself and “say hang on a minute I’m not degrading myself for you a moment longer” I bet his respect for you would be increased if you did,
Its just whether your willing to keep up with this fantasy any longer because you wont change his mind about wanting to a relationship with you as long as continue to subtly de-value yourself by being his “fuck buddy”,
do with us because Men are hunters and love the thrill of the chase,
and if you make them chase it they will not only think of you as more beautiful but have true desire to want to love you
hold out for Mr. Right because he is a definite Mr. Wrong,
do the right thing for Yourself! this time forget about him,
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A
female
reader, accused +, writes (24 April 2007):
 and am i being used till he finds another girlfriend again
YES you are! the only way your a f**k buddy is if you let yourself be one.... So do I think he's using you (yes) do I think you need to drop him? Only if you don't like being his F**K buddy! Good luck
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A
female
reader, Jay Jay +, writes (24 April 2007):
 It sounds to me that this guy has a commintment issue! From the way you write you are definatly looking for more out of this "friendship" than is there for the taking. There's no two ways about it, this guy is looking for one thing and one thing only and as you have supplied his need before he has come looking for you again. I went through the same kind of thing afew years back and at first I was more than happy with the arrangement as I was living without male company as a single parent, 10 months down the line of casual sex as and when the desire took hold I realised that I was looking for more than was first agreed. If you decide to agree to this form of friendship then you have to emotionaly prepare yourself for changing sircumstances. You cant change the rules as you go along! If you are a strong minded person who can disassociate yourself from love and sex then go for if, but in my mind there's no doubt that this guy wants a fuck buddy, nothing more nothing less. Good luck. Be strong.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (24 April 2007):
 I think you've answered your own question there, honey! That is exactly the same as a 'f*** buddy', so no matter how he phrases it, you're still being used for sex when it suits him. Girls don't react as well to this arrangement as men do, we often end up wanting more as we often put more importance on sex than men and we end up getting hurt.
Don't be that girl he comes to when he has no better offer, you're worth more than that. I can tell you like him and want more but it's not going to happen if it's not what he wants too and he's told you it's not. I really hope you use this opportunity to let him know he can't treat you this way and get out there and find someone who's worth your time and effort.
Good luck
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