A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love my girlfriend very much, we have been dating a good 2 years. The problem is is that I don't find her sexually attractive anymore. Because of this I have cheated on her a couple of times, once was on a break. I don't want to break it off because I don't want to hurt her. When I think about being single its great, when I think of not having her though I'm miserable. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): Yes, logically end this as you have lost feelings and feel guilt. It is ethically right to do so as it sounds like you have certain physical needs that she can no longer provide that for whatever reason. So, look elsewhere. Good luck.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (20 October 2010):
 You didn't want to break up because you're afraid to lose the sense of security she gives you. If it was really about her feelings and not hurting her, you wouldn't have cheated in the first place. The idea of having a relationship to fall back on while you still play the field is what you love, not her. Imagine if things were reversed, if she looked elsewhere and slept with other men because you weren't big enough or gained a lot of weight, but stayed with you because it's convenient. Doesn't feel that great, does it?
Break it off. You can't have your cake and eat it too, that's not how relationships work. In my opinion, she deserves better.
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A
female
reader, soconfusedhelp +, writes (19 October 2010):
 BREAK UP WITH HER! trust me. id rather have a guy break up with me and be sad, then to find out that my boyfriends not attracted to me anymore and has been cheating on me and be really sad and feel humiliated.
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A
female
reader, rachel1991  +, writes (19 October 2010):
Break up with her. Don't keep leading her on because the longer you pretend the more she is going to love you and it will hurt a lot more. Its not fair on her, no one deserves to be cheated on. If your not attracted to her then surely your sex life with her must of gone down hill? wont that make her start thinking why? or there is something wrong with her, stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about how this will affect her if you carry on pretending.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 October 2010):
 Break it off. You didn't break it off because you didn't want to hurt her... Really? How would she feel if she found out about your having cheated? Hurt. Devistated. Angry. Get over yourself. If you are unhappy enough to cheat, then man up and break it off. Let this girl find someone who diserves her loyalty because you don't. Let her find someone who is happy with her and who is attracted to her. All you're doing is wasting her time and setting her up for bigger heartache down the road.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): Get over yourself man. Break up with her, because i think you are past the part where you hurt her, by cheating even if she doesn't know. Stop being selfish and end it. I don't mean to be so harsh, but you need to be straight with this girl its not fair to her.
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A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (19 October 2010):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) You should just tell her, because that my friend.. Is utterly disrespectful. Sure you may be miserable, but if you think single would be great than you mine as well be. Instead of cheating behind your girlfriends back.
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