A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm 60 years old but I have still got a good figure and am told that I am pretty. I moved to France to start a new life and everything is going well for me on the business front. The problem, or challenge I should perhaps say, is that I feel really lonely. I have been here three years and have almost no friends; I am fairly outgoing but i find it hard to meet people. My 'phone stays silent mostly and even tho I really like the French people, they are so unreliable with regard to friendship. I have been quite hurt by people who have invited me to things and then 'forgot' to send me the address or 'lost' my telephone number. Where I live is not really suitable for entertaining otherwise i would invite people to dinner. I guess I am really wanting to meet a new guy, but men of my age seem only ready for their pipe and slippers, and I am vibrant and ready to enjoy life. Please give some advise to stop me slipping into major depression! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Well, honey, I applaud you for not acting your age and maintaining a healthy young lifestyle. I should hope when I reach your age I can have the same youthful spirit and body you seem to possess.
The way you describe your situation, your best bet is to date younger men. Well, what choice do you have? Usually women your age are close to retirement, married, settled and way past their dating days. If you were to hang out in certain night clubs you would stand out because of your age. But I see women as old as their 50’s in some club, it depends on the fare of course. Stay away from techno and go to more adult jazzy clubs. I like the salsa music myself which gets all ages. I would think France is a great place to find entertainment. Go into the internet and do some research on places to go. That’s what I do to find new things and places to go where I live.
Being a seasoned woman you may have to step out of your traditional feminine ways and be more up front and open to men. Instead of waiting around for gentlemen to approach you, you go up to them. Maybe they don’t think you’re available, so you change that perception. Simply by asking for a dance you do that. You don’t have to resort to buying drinks like we men do, but you have to just step up a little and be a little flirty.
Im a little younger than you and available…if you walked up to me and asked for a dance I wouldn’t refuse you. Its just common courtesy to accept a dance in the first place. If a guy turns you down, he proves he is a jerk, and you are best off without him.
Besides clubs that cater to more mature crowds, you can go to a good restaurant and eat by yourself. You can often meet others that way. If I saw a lovely woman sitting at a table by herself I would say hi to her. What says single and available more than sitting at a restaurant by yourself! But do it to enjoy your time and the meal…if a guy comes up to you offer him to sit and talk. That’s how it happens.
My best advice to you, and it would apply to any age, is to get outside and get into as many social situations as possible. Clubs, restaurants, and festivals are great. Here in Detroit where I live we have festivals of all kinds. There is no excuse for living a sheltered life if you just get out and about.
You might also want to join a health club to workout. You are never too young to workout, and you can meet other men there. Taking classes that are of interest to both sexes would be a good idea. Something like yoga or Tai Chi…or obviously dance. Being in an unfamiliar country means you have to do more homework.
Besides music and dance there are also art galleries and bookstores. France would be a wonderful place to find and explore art. You are in an envious position from my perspective. I would go to these places even if I weren’t trying to find true love.
I wish you all the best in finding happiness and love. If you are ever in Detroit and I am still available you can call upon me.
BONJOUR!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): My wife and I are both 63 and neither one of us is ready for the "pipe and slippers" lifestyle. We like to travel, walk, hike and mountainbike. We have no plans to stop this in the near future. We also don't have many friends, but we have each other and are also best friends.
I don't know why your place is not suitable for entertaining, but you don't need to have a large crowd to entertain. A cuple of people is all that you need. Our house is not very big, but it is certainly big enough for 4 people to be comfortable. Even the small apartment that my first wife and I rented at first was big enough for 4 people for the evening.
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A
female
reader, Hepzibah  +, writes (9 July 2008):
Think positively about the ways in which you might be able to extend your social group. How about your business? Do you have any staff, suppliers or customers that you could get to know?
Are there any groups that you could get involved with socially, such as a bridge club or possibly even fitness clubs. Maybe you could go along to your local bar/restaurant/store and become a 'regular', which would give you the opportunity to chat to the staff and clientele at your own pace.
I'm sure there are lots of gentlemen out there who would fall over themselves to meet you, as you sound as though you are a vibrant, strong, attractive person.
I agree that it can be tricky forging new friendships when you are the new kid in town, but don't be too downhearted. It wont go on indefinitely, especially as you sound so willing to go out and seek company. Best wishes
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): I'm sure not all men at your age are ready for a pipe and slippers lifestyle - I'm certainly not!
You say your place is unsuitable for having people over for dinner. I have to ask why not? If I go out to someone's place it's the company I appreciate, not the surroundings. It wouldn't matter much if I ended up sitting on an orange box with an upturned tea chest for a table.
Maybe you need to try a new hobby, perhaps join some social group or something - anything to get you out of the house. I guess you must have some businees acquaintances, maybe there's some friendships to be made there too?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): Ah! A la Francais!
Bonjour!!
Bon?! Parle vous francais?!
I'm assuming you don't...
Unfortunatley thats the country you live in. I can't really advise on getting people to like you. I guess you just have to adapt to how they live their lives.
If you want to enjoy life then, easier said because I don't have to do it, move. In all seriousness do you want to enjoy your life?!
How about you get their telephone number instead of relying on them. How about MSN!? Talking to people online is probably easier.
I know they possibly won't know how to use the internet, and I wouldn't normally recommend it. French chat rooms!
That way you can see what they're interested in, what they normally talk about etc. Find some friends online, even if they don't exactly live in the same town. That way your not as lonely.
Just keep edging your way to the top.
Serrer dans ses bras
Au Revoir!
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