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male
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anonymous
writes: I'm 23, male, a lil loopy. OK, I've got myself into a little bit of trouble. I'm currently seeing a girl for the past 2 years. We like everything ( I mean everything ) the same. She loves me and would seriously do anything for me. She's stable and reliable and in the past 2 years we have never agrued ( perfect huh ? ).BORING! I love her, but not madly. I don't know why. There is another girl I'm attracted to, though nothing has happened. She's made it pretty clear if I was single she would pounce! She's wild and exciting.I need to choose! I need help to choose! Plz. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Belston +, writes (20 July 2006):
I would definetly get out of the stable relationship that is stagnant.From experience, if you stay unfulfilled, you will regret it and have problems later on in your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2006): I do understand what you are experiencing, all due to your youthful age. Better to do this now than when in the future when the huge responsibilities of marriage and kids come along. You are quite young and you do need to mature, develop yourself and learn. You need to spread your wings, so sit down with your current gf, be honest and tell her you want to make the break. Treat her emotions with respect because it's likely she will be hurt. When you develop and mature someday (and you will)-you will understand that happiness comes from within you. Just don't stay stuck in this mindset that waiting for somebody or something to make you happy or you will never, ever find true happiness.You have to take the steps in your life to make things happen. Any long, committed couples will tell you, that at various times in their relationship, one will fall out of love with the other person. That's where the committment part - come into play. You just ride the wave and put in the efforts, until you fall in love with that person all over again. You don't just leave someone because you're bored and miss those early exciting feelings, you honor the committment, knowing that the love will return. This is the mark of maturity. One word of caution: If you're leaving your current gft due to "boredom," then likely those same bored feelings will eventually surface with this new person. Don't become the type of person will constantly seek the excitement that can only come from someone new, and never realize the excitement that comes from the comfortable, secure routine where the 'trust' has been well established. We live in self centered scociety, where many people seems to have a "it's all about me, get over it" attitude these days and then wonder why they are miserable and unhappy. Relationships do hit snags, but what makes a couple strong, is working through those tough times. So yes, do your current gf a favor. Breaking up with her now frees her up, to eventually finding someone who is committed to her and will truly appreciate her and accept her just the way she is the best. She sounds like a good woman, a mature, strong girl..she will heal, recover and move on. Just make sure you absolutely want to do this, because you could end up having huge regrets. I sincerely wish you the best of luck, dear. Take care
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (19 July 2006):
 Then dump the GF of two years and go for the other one. You have no ties or commitments other than the time you ahve spent together so what is stopping you?
xx
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A
female
reader, Hot (Advice) +, writes (19 July 2006):
 Well sounds like the girl your with now doesn't really hit all the right buttons. But no one ever really does anyway. It's impossible to find someone who is right in every way, men and women think and feel differently etc (of course, stating the obvious here!)
Anyway the fact that you are attracted to someone else indicates that you are no longer in love with you current girl. You are young and have plenty of years ahead of you, you are not ready to settle in a long term relationship and by the sounds of it not mature enough.
Do yourself and your girl a favour and go your seperate ways, never settle for second best, if you are not really happy and after two years you should have an idea by now then end it. Regards to this other girl you are attracted to, it probably won't last with her either, sounds like you are sexually attracted to her and it would soon fizzle out if you were to persue anything with her. It would be rather insensitive to chase her soon after ending it with your current girl, try and get away from both of them, keep your distance!
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