A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ive been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs and we are both very very insecure, i dont accuse him of cheating on me but he thinks that i am because i am always working and working for long long hours and sometimes even 6 days a week, we dont live together so i only see him on my days off but lately my job has been hitting me with alot of overtime so he thinks that i dont want to be with him or dont have time for him anymore and accuses me of cheating on him,should i be concerned that he is accusing me of cheating on him even though im not?
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female
reader, Vickett0410  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 It is hard to hear that, exspecially from somebody you care about. It almost feels like their betraying your trust. Why not confront him about him, and ask him what's making him feel this way and how you can help. I understand most people do use "working/overtime" as an exscuse to cheat, but I think really he knows your not, because if he thought there was a chance you'd cheat he wouldn't be with you really. If he thought you'd hurt him, he wouldn't be with you.
Maybe he's using this as an exscuse for you to give him more attention and maybe he just wants to be reminded that you care (asin "baby, i'd never cheat. i love you" sorta thing)
But like "male anonymous" said, be careful. As he could be trying to cover his tracks. Hope i helped :D
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Is he doing this now only because you've been unavailable due to your long work hours? If so, then he's logically suspicious unless you've explained your long absences. Sounds like you haven't talked to him about your work at all. I think if you had he wouldn't be troubled. You have to communicate and show you care.When you're insecure you're always thinking the other person is going to take off because you think you have very little value in the relationship. This really is a terrible obstacle to overcome. It is worse if the guy is insecure and stubborn. Then, you start getting accusations of infidelity. Add in a dose of jealousy and when this happens it's best to leave the relationship.I'm leery of EllsworthT's advice because you could be opening the door to him controlling you and that would be the worse thing in this situation.In summary, you should explain your predicament. If he still harps on about it then let him go as he is to insecure for a sane relationship.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (15 June 2009):
 I'd be concerned if he doesn't let up. He shouldn't be accusing you of doing something you're not, and there's also a chance he is doing it to cover up what he's doing.
If he keeps it up let him know in clear terms that is not acceptable. If he doesn't stop, find a kinder, more secure boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Maybe he's cheating. The truth is, relationships without trust don't work. Of course you should be concerned. You shouldn't ever trust someone that doesn't trust you.
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A
male
reader, EllsworthT  +, writes (14 June 2009):
You are probably more attractive than he is. A male's ugliness can be offset by wealth or a very large johnson. I suspect your boyfriend has neither. If he's less attractive than you, isn't rich, and has a small member, it's perfectly normal that he'd suspect you of cheating. (And you probably will, eventually.)
He will be even more suspicious if he bedded you within a few days after you first met. Think about it.
If you like him, I suggest you get a cell phone with a camera. Throughout the day take pictures of yourself showing where you are and who you're with and send them to him. Ask him to call ten or twelve times every day, whenever he feels like it, just to check on you. You have to pretend to really want to do this until you convince yourself that you do. Don't patronize him. Never, never, never call him "insecure" or complain about the calls, as it will only make him feel like a ninny and he will leave you. (And you do like him, right?) Eventually his suspicions will subside to a normal level.
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