A
female
age
36-40,
*Lindy87
writes:Alright, so I'm in a rut with my love life. I'm always single it seems. I'm always the third wheel and this has been how it has been this way mostly since I've even been interested in dating. I'm 22 now. I've had some short relationships that haven't lasted that long and many flings but I have never had a serious boyfriend and I would really like one. However, here is the problem. Whenever I hang out with a guy and I think that we like each other, something happens that makes it clear that they only want to be friends. Heck, I was out on what I thought was a date and the guy goes "so do you know caitlyn from our school" [college] "well I really think I'm into her and.." yada yada yada. This has happened more then once. Another time, after spending almost every day one on one with this person he suddenly brings up his crush on this other girl. Its like I'm invisible to guys besides being their good friend, almost like a guy friend. Its just getting old and I don't know what I can do to get a guy to notice me in more then a friend way. I don't think I'm ugly but I'm not drop dead gorgeous either. I do think that I have a good sense of humor, but that may be the problem because I find guy humor funny. I laugh at women jokes and I enjoy watching south park.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 January 2010):
Guys like hanging you with you because you're into guy stuff like out sense of humour and South Park and such. Which means they'll see you as a great friend. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with you. Just be a bit more flirty with them, act girly sometimes, and don't be afraid to tell a guy you like him and do a little running.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): Right after I wrote a reply to your question, I thought of something else. It could also be that you're going for the wrong type of guy? Many, but thankfully not all, guys like a certain type. Is 'Caitlin' ultra feminine? Do these guys want sorority chicks? Then of course they won't consider you potential, unless you start dressing and acting like a sorority chick. Maybe expand your social circle and find some people who are more into your type. Stereotypically speaking, I'd say that punks and skaters are into your type, as well as awesome open minded men (found randomly scattered throughout humanity) who don't desire their woman to play a stereotypical female role. Sorry for generalizing like that, but it's what I've noticed in my neck of the woods.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): I've never hung out with you, so I can't tell you for sure what's going on, but I will try to speculate.
Are you flirtatious at all? That may be all you need to push you over the edge from being a dude chick to a potentially dateable chick.
I have a friend who sounds much like you. She loves boy company and she is cute but I wouldn't say beautiful. She prefers boy company over female company, and some of the guys see her as just another dude, but she knows when to turn on her flirtatious abilities when she wants to.
When she turns on her flirtatious playful side, guys really do fall in love with her.
I don't know what else to tell you since I don't know you personally. The exact science of a particular personality and how it interacts with others is hard to gauge over the internet and not face to face.
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