A
male
age
36-40,
*nonyman
writes:I don't even know where to begin, but this is what i feel. I'll try to keep it short and to the point. It's like I have no future. For years i've tryed to be as positive as I can around girls, I have many different types friends in many circles. I'm quite outgoing (I like to go to partys and festivals...), I'm fun, I'm friendly and helpful. Last year I thought I had a chance with someone but it never materialised, and she ended up going with someone else. Worst is we're still friends, and i like her that way too. I don't want to fall out with people, but because we are still close I have to see YET another girl i've missed out on quite often! And just my luck, I'll bet this is the guy she goes on to spend the rest of her life with. But this time, I think this is the straw that broke the camels back in my case.There's no other girl I can go to, to move on. So i'm living with this everyday now. I can barely sleep or even smile anymore, i've found myself sitting by myself crying. There's times where i've just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up, my world seems like it's falling apart and I can't stop it! This is not like me at all, but for 2 months now I've been really down and can't get out of this. People have asked me what's wrong, even the girl I mentioned above. But how do I go about explaining this lot, especially to her?I've tryed to stay positive as people say, but the last relationship (if you could even call it that) was when i was 17. I'm 23 this summer. 5 years of staying positive and being myself, and nothing. I don't want to be living alone in some apartment when i'm 40, past my prime with no chance anymore. :'(I've never been this bad, what's going on?! I'm not perfect, nobody is. But I don't deserve this! What am i going to do?!
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Anonyman +, writes (4 February 2011):
Anonyman is verified as being by the original poster of the question The thing is I could understand if I were running around moaning to everyone about my troubles. But when I think I have a chance with a girl I sort of put it all out of the way and switch on my confidence to the best of my ability. And be as positive and as friendly as I possibly can. If it developed into something, my problem would be solved of course.When I'm out with friends I can sort of put it to the back of my mind for a while, I bottle it up. But it's when I'm on my own when things pile up on me, even the stupidest things like seeing other couples happy gets me down. All I want is a chance to make a girl happy, I'd give 110%.
A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (4 February 2011):
 okay so it sounds like you've had it tough but you are young, please don't be assuming your future is just you all alone at 40! You haven't met the right girl yet and that sucks but I think there's a lot more to it than that. You sound desperate so maybe you're acting that way and that's extremely off putting. I don't want to sound harsh here but I do want to tell you the truth.
Clearly you're very unhappy and maybe those are the vibes that you're putting out to girls. I think you should see your gp because it does sound to me like you're depressed, especilly the fact that you just want to sleep.
Don't focus all your attentions on finding a girl. That's too much pressure on yourself and certainly on any potentil partner because she would be well aware that you were placing your happiness solely in her hands and nobody wants that kind of responsibility.
I'm not trying to play it down, I really do get how this would be getting you down but I think that once you sort out the rest of your life it will start to fall into place. Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (4 February 2011):
Well, you already know what you have to do. And even when it's so obvious I'll write it down here.You have to tell this girl you are in love with her.God knows what happens after that. But it doesn't even matter since you have been silent until now. Of course, she will ask you whether you were waiting someone else to date her for telling this. But, it seems you actually did. And it's not the first time. Something tells me that, unless you start with a big change, you will end up at forty with a large list of girls who you would have dated, but you didn't.I will insist: you have to ask THIS girl out. Because she is dating someone else and she will probable get rejected. And that rejection is your only cure. If you manage to get rejected at least. I promise this problem (which seems to be the end of your life, but it isn't) will be solved.
...............................
|
