A
female
age
30-35,
*ingtomestars
writes:I'm 18 and I met this 20 years old boy online a little bit more than one year ago. I have really strong feelings for him, in fact I think I'm in love with him and I know he loves me too. We are supposed to meet in one month in Paris ( how romantic? 3) and I really can't wait. The thing is that I'm really scared. We already were supposed to meet few months ago but for some reason it didn't happen. If it gets canceled again, my heart will break and I really don't want this to happen... I'm also scared he isn't the one he says he is. I've already video chatted with him and all, I'm just scared he isn't as perfect as he is when we talk. Also, I've never talked about him to anyone because I don't have anyone close enough to talk to about it, that's why I'm posting this question here: Should I go for it or should I give up?
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female
reader, singtomestars +, writes (7 June 2010):
singtomestars is verified as being by the original poster of the question i do know the language since french is my native language...Plus my aunt lives in Paris, it's not like I have no one and I don't know anything about the place since I go there at least three times a week since I was born...
A
male
reader, Ovid +, writes (7 June 2010):
"We'll always have Paris." (Casa Blanca). A weekend in Paris is not a lifetime in Peoria. Online relationships are, by and large, an exercise in naivte' or desperation. Sometimes they are even dangerous. Unless it is a sure thing, I advise spending the money for a ticket to Paradise on a ticket to a dinner and a movie with a 'real live' person. Don't be left holding the baggage. Ovid.
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A
female
reader, MsBehavin +, writes (7 June 2010):
 I'm with marieclaire on this one...
IMHO, the geography of where you meet is moot. I would caution you to drive across town by yourself to meet someone you hardly know, much less jet off to a foreign country! Even if you met him face to face in your own neighborhood, the bottom line is that it's just not safe to be alone with strangers. Period.
Have you ever considered that maybe you're scared about this situation for good reason? TRUST YOUR GUT!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 June 2010):
 Go for it. You are scared not because this is crazy, but because you are taking a huge step. Normally, this step (meeting someone in person) is quite regular, and we do so on a daily basis. Normally, this is the very first step of any relationship. But you met online, so the first step had to wait for a year. This builds up suspense. And with the feelings involved, a lot is on the table. A lot can be lost. But when it comes to love, you have to bet in order to win. There's no safe way to be in a relationship and guard yourself from hurt.
Your relationship has gotten a different start than the relationship of most people. Things that would have normally been known from the first second had to wait for a year. Like how he looks at you, his smell, his touch, his laugh and how we communicates, body language, how he interacts with friends etc etc. There is so much you don't know. But only one way to find out.
On the other hand, you have gotten to meet him in a way different, and this is something positive as well. You've gotten to meet him all personal and private, just you and him in long conversations together. You know if he thinks about you, because he'd have to write it out. You know if he is committed, because he'd be willing to travel to meet you for example. You met him in a context that allowed you to get to know him in a way other people wont. You got to know his personality, who he is inside. Usually, people get to know the outside first and then the inside. You started with the inside, and now you need to learn to know the outside.
It can either be a catastrophe or it could be amazing and perfect. Only one way to find out, and I think it is worth the risk. All relationships come with a risk.
I met my online boyfriend after only 3 months, we were in love, he came halfway across the earth to see me, and it was all good. He was everything I thought he'd be, and I was everything he'd thought I was. No surprises. So it can work.
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A
female
reader, singtomestars +, writes (6 June 2010):
singtomestars is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know what you mean Marie Claire but let's pretend I met this guy in real, he could also lie his ass off and be a murderer or a psycho. People can lie about who they are in real...
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