A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello, thank you in advance for reading my post.To start out with, i'm an 18 year old girl, senior in high school (I go to school for less than half a day), and I just recently lost my job a few weeks ago. I have no money saved up, im currently looking for a new job. The issue at hand is, Im miserable at home and I have no idea where to turn anymore. My mom is with my fathers brother, whom she has all her other kids by, and he treats me horribly. He calls me names, he slaps me around and pulls my hair, he's made it to where im afraid to even speak at home or even be hom most of the time. and if i try to get away by leaving, whenever I do return I get it 10 times worse. My mom and him often argue over this kind of stuff, but they eventually make up, because my mom is a major pill popper she's almost always incoherent when she's home. She lets him do whatever he wants, and sometimes she even does it too. With the names and the hitting.I just dont understand, what makes people act like this? they do this in front of all the kids [12 and under] and sometimes even to them. What can I do to ignore ther behavior and continue with a nornal life? Im trying not to let this affect what happens in my life, but its really starting to get to me.Any advice is welcome, thank you all.
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female
reader, LaPointe  +, writes (20 January 2010):
I agree, you need to go to the police now. They have shelters and information to protect you from him once they are in the know. It is important to keep yourself safe as well as your little sister, and even your mom who is living in fear.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): Please, you have to talk to someone about this, if not for your sake then for your sister's. The fact that he may come after you after jail need not and should not prevent you from going to the police, or at the very least telling a teacher. he may well get an injunction or something which will mean he can't come near you. I think you should go to the police; it is not fair of your mum to let him treat you, but also your little sister, like this, no matter how scared she is of him. Your sister is 12, she has no where else to go and cannot defend herself. Please get some help, go to the police. And maybe try and keep a record/diary of when he starts on you, maybe how he behaves. Then you can build up some evidence which may be helpful. Hang in there but please take some action, and post back to us as well. I know you have a terrible decision to make but if he is abusive, mentally and physically by the sound of it, something needs to be done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. Its happened again today. He didnt like the way my sister cleaned up her cereal so he started hollering at her calling her a bitch and kicking her. She's 12.
Then he came over to me and started telling me to go tell my mom and stuff, I told him stop hollering at me cause i didnt do anything, and he kicked me and called us "a bunch of cunts".
i dont know how much more I can take of this :/
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (14 January 2010):
 hey thats good things will start to look up for you just hang in there
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice so far. LonelyTwo, ill be joining the military as soon as I get my diploma. Living with my dad isnt possible, he overdosed a little before my 16th birthday. He's alive but living with him would be just as bad. Everytime I speak up to my uncle, he gets in my face and hollers and pushes me around. The only reason I dont call the police is cause my mom tells me if I do and he goes to jail were all going to have to move so he doesnt hurt us when he gets out.
:(
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (14 January 2010):
Join the club as far as getting laid off. If you have to work at some place beneath what you were even thinking (McDonald's) then do it. If you're on the West Coast and have a Jack in the Box or In 'N Out, they pay fairly decent as far as fast food restaurants. I also like LonelyTwo's suggestion of Navy or Airfoce, those are two good military branches to join.
As far as your uncle/stepfather, you need to tell someone. I know you may be threatened with things like the kids will get split up etc. etc., but they may be better off. After you leave, they'll find a new kid to probably beat up on. Read: A Child Called It, his mother did horrendous things to him and luckily he made it out alive and being a foster kid was probably the best thing that ever happened to him.
Anyway, the best of luck to you and hope you find your way out of there.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (14 January 2010):
well first off this is definatly going to affect your life it is your life the saying goes your parents ruin the first half of your life and your chilldren ruin the second half.
You need to get out you have the internet as a resource, look online see what you can find, there should be a safe haven , they have these places to help women in your situation.
Dont be afraid to ask for help or ashamed to exept it even jesus had his feet washed, everyone needs help some times.I feel you need to leave this situation immediately before your seriously injured secondly its not healthy for you to live like this you deserve so much better.
also this sounds like domestic violence it recent years the police have taken it alot more serious dont be afraid to go to the authorities.
please let us know how things go,
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A
female
reader, LaPointe +, writes (14 January 2010):
If you're 18 you can legally leave. You can also call social services if you feel you need to protect your other siblings. I don't suggest you ignore it if you feel you have any other option, if there is another family member you could stay with or a friend's family. I lived in an abusive house and I broke to it and became submissive to it and it took years to get out of the mindset that I should never speak up for myself and I deserved no happiness. I'm still not 100% out of that. I am aware that I was a child, and that I should not have expected to hold up against the people who were older than me, and had superiority over me, and who were supposed to take care of me. But part of me wishes that I had always held on to hating them, and believing I deserved better.So even if you can't get out, until you can do not ever believe you deserve it. You deserve better. Do not ever stop fighting, even if just in your head, repeating to yourself that you deserve every right that every human being deserves, you deserve love and happiness and you are a good person.
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A
female
reader, trigger18  +, writes (14 January 2010):
hunny listen to me here,
this is not acceptable for your uncle to treat you this way and same goes for your mum. that is teaching the younger children bad behaviour which means if they do that at school they cud get into alot of trouble...
speak to someone like your gp about wot is going on at home i did and she helped me. they are there to listen too not just treat you wen ur ill. tell your gp wots been going on at home and how its been making you feel and they will try and help you with this.
you shud be able to be at home and relax and feel comfortable living with your mum but u are clearly not happy. wen you say ur uncle hits you ten times worse if you try to leave that is abuse. he cant make you stay because you are 18 and legally an adult.
good luck xx
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